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JINGLES
Title Key * File
Size
(Meg)		 Length
(Mins)		 Comments
Shop
at
Strings
 B 0.64 0:27
*New* - 14th June 2008
As far as I can ascertain the "facts" are these. Revenge of the Lawn, fully expecting to win the recent Bestival competition (a reasonable assumption when you look at the competition) were faced with having to play live without some fundamental equipment (guitars, amps, nose flutes etc.). To solve this shortfall they entered into a sponsorship deal with Strings Guitar Centre who provided them with the equipment that they needed in return for certain advertising rights. Revenge of the Lawn are now required to pepper their live set with advertisements for Strings Guitar Centre. Part of the agreement, as I understand it, and I'm sure the band will tell a different story, is that they are required to provide 30 seconds of advertising space for every thirty minutes that they play live. As far as I know this is a first in the music industry. I can see this as a way for the music industry to make up for lost revenue due to falling CD sales so it may well become the norm, but do you really want to witness Radiohead interrupting their set to play an advertisement for sanitary towels or bleach? We here at the House of Cheese™ say, "No to This Kind of Thing!"
SONGS TO FRIGHTEN YOUR CHILDREN WITH
Title Key * File
Size
(Meg)		 Length
(Mins)		 Comments
Manchester
Express		 B 2.33 2:32
*New* -20th September 2008
Once I was on a train. It was back in the days, and the carriage consisted of small compartments with no connecting corridor, so I knew that I would only be disturbed when we came into a station. The compartment was lit by two bulbs in the ceiling, one on either side of the carriage. I was bored and wanted to look out of the window but couldn't because of the reflection on the glass. I wisely decided to take the bulb out of the socket on one side of the compartment and then went to the window. We were going round a bend so I had a good view of lights going out down the entire length of the train. I heard a sinister noise behind me and turned to discover that molten metal was dripping out of the light socket and setting fire to the floor.

Meanwhile Rob was having train problems of a whole different nature. Now listen on....
Oh
Mighty Ocean
(NQR Mix)
 B 3.82 4:10
*New* - 9th September 2008
Have you seen that film "The Perfect Storm?" Bit shit wasn't it. It was, of course based on the far superior Ingmar Bergman film "Ooo! Det är lite blåsigt ikväll" What some of you may not know is that before his death in July 2007, Bergman admitted that he was inspired to make the film after hearing an early demo of "Oh Mighty Ocean." He said of it "Vad är detta skit. Jag känner mig oren. Jag måste göra ytterligare en film". It was, sadly his last film and his only foray into stop-frame animation.
Tick
Tock Song
 B 2.51 2:44
*New* - 30th August 2008
Featuring the vocal stylings of Mrs. Jones - A torch song for the post-punk generation.
Noddy
Stories		 B * 3.4 3:43
*New* - 17th August 2008
Was Noddy a Nazi? This songumentry from Revenge of the Lawn examines the evidence and comes to a startling conclusion. And the subtext: A Nazi English teacher wallows in the bath with the school secetary and argues for the right... You've heard the song, now buy the badge!
Why! B * 2.4 2:37
*New* - 05th July 2008
Revenge of the Lawn's latest foray into the territory traditionally held by Agony Aunts and Holistic Therapists who make a great deal of money by not revealing "The Universal Answers" which are of course:

  • You deserve it
  • Life is just shit
Bill
O'Neill's
Sandwich
 C 4.02 3:30
*New* - 25th May 2008
Is this the most obscure song ever written? It concerns the philisophical ramifications of a bit of sandwich heaving that took place at a Smeggy plus the Cheesybits (sic) gig on Hastings Pier in the late '70s. For the full story start here and keep clicking on "Next Sandwich".

You've heard the song, now buy the badge!
(Jam)
Sandwich		 B 5.34 3:53
*New* - 27th April 2008
For the second time Revenge of the Lawn are caught practicing.
If you don't like poorly conceived rambling slightly out of tune badly recorded jamming don't download this (unless you're mental).
Shoobaloo B 1.72 1:30
*New* - 19th April 2008
A stripped down version of Revenge of the Lawn's foray into lounge music. The much noisier (and therefore more fullfilling) version will be posted at a later date.
Shoobaloo B 1.68 1:27 The fully mashed up brass version.
I've
Fallen In
Love With
A Vending
Machine
 C 6.63 5:47
*New* - 12th April 2008
After two years on the operating table and several months recuperation (tinkering), Revenge of the Lawn have finally managed to come up with some kind of mix of their "mediocris opus". A tale of "The Love That Shall Not Be Named"...Well actually it shall be named; it shall be named "being a scum-sucking-pervy-jiz-drinking-automaton-f**ker"...but that doesn't mean that you can't write a song about it. Astonishingly (well at least I'm astonished {but then I don't get out much anymore[mind you I did meet Joolie down the pub last night and only managed to insult two or three of her freinds] }) this isn't the bands albatross by any means - comming soon{ish} "How the Urination Process Has Effected Some of the Greatest Moments in History",
At the End
of
Old Ryde Pier
(Single Mix)
 B * 5.2 3:47
*New* - 10th March 2008
This is the version of Old Ryde Pier that Revenge of the Lawn entered in the IWCP Live wired Competition (we'll explain more later).
At the End
of
Old Ryde Pier
(WWW Mix)
 B 7.5 5:27
*New Again* - 10th March 2008
The return of the extended version of Old Ryde Pier (we'll explain more later).
Matelot B * 5.9 4:17
*New Again* - 8th Feb 2008
The return of Revenge of the Lawn's klezmer sonnet (we'll explain more later).
Sailing
Away		 B 3.94 2:52
4th FEBRUARY 08
Imagine a small island in the sea (I know it's difficult isn't it) a rickety autogyro hoves into view. Hurrah! Now we can have tea.
Four
Minute
Smile
 B 6.46 4:42
29th JANUARY 08
In a moment of weakness Revenge of the Lawn are caught practicing.
Truly
Scrumptious		 B 6.91 5:01
13th JANUARY 08
Revenge of the Lawn's take on the childrens classic. I wasn't scared of the child catcher.
Mrs.
Jones		 B 3.59 2:36
16th NOVEMBER 07
This is the song that Revenge of the Lawn chose to enter in the Platform 1/IWCP Live Wired competition. They really scuppered any chances of getting any votes at all by initially submitting a version that ran 10-20% slower than this one and sounded even stranger (I know it's hard to imagine isn't it). The song features a scintilating trumpet solo from Malcolm (Mista Mushroom). but do you know the film?
Electricity B 4.21 4:35
5th MAY 07
A sombre offering from Revenge of the Lawn. Was it a Wednesday or a Tuesday?
Tidal
Wave Dave
(Inst)
 B 8 5:49
5th MAY 07
A rambling instrumental version of Revenge of the Lawn's epic morality tale on love lost and the female condition.
I
F**cking
Hate
the W***
W****
B 1.01 1:06
*CERTIFICATE 18*
The aforementioned "thunderous racist diatribe from the unacceptable face of regional bigotry". Is actually a quiet, introspective tale of life in the rural idyll

You've heard the song, now buy the badge!
I
Jolly Well
Have Ambiguous
Feelings About
The
W*** W****

 A 2.37 1:02
*CERTIFICATE PG*
After complaints from parent groups, trading standards and The Isle of Wight Tourist Board Revenge of the Lawn have been forced to release a censored version of their parochial nazi anthem.
Get
a Job
Now
(Brev Mix)
 B 2.43 1:45 Ever wanted to sit around on your arse all day? I know I do but there's always someone hovering in the wings waiting to machine-gun you with the "mummies mantra".
Get
a Job
Now
(Spoon Mix)
 B 1.52 1:54 As above, but with spoons.
Extract
From
Gonk's
Blues
 A 1.5 0:39 Gonk is a little shitter. He does it everywhere.
Bum
Banditeers		 B 5.18 3:46 This has been available via the Main page and the Bitching page for ages so it might as well have a link here. Somebody has been downloading it. It tells the tale of Handbag Nigel and his cronies' attempt to overthrow the unstable local government on a small island in the south (seas).

You've heard the song, now buy the badge!
ROTL ARCHIVE MATERIAL
Title Key * File
Size
(Meg)		 Length
(Mins)		 Comments
Pass
the Grass
Please
Duchess
 C 2.45 2:40
*New* - 24th September 2008
The song that introduced the concept of the pop-art dustman to the world.

The management would like to make clear that the sentiments expressed in this song are not necessarily those held by The House of Cheese™.
Stomping
(Down at
the
Consort)
 C 2.45 2:40 Another one from the archives (circa 1986). A strange 'omage to the Prince Consort and the characters that gathered there.
The
Weekly
Post
 C 3.06 4:27 One from the archives (circa 1986). The Weekly Post is no longer with us but please feel free to substitute the name of your local newspaper. The biting satire still applies.
VIDEOS TO FRIGHTEN YOUR CHILDREN WITH
Title Key * File
Size
(Meg)		 Length
(Mins)		 Comments
It's
a Funny
Old World
 ? * 23.83 7:24 The latest video release from The Lawnies. 7.5 minutes of alien wierdness. This is an mp4 file and heavily compressed but considering the size of a similar mpeg (over 300 Meg) not bad at all. A higher quality file will be posted at a later date.
Horse ? 2.81 0:43 Revealed! Revenge of the Lawn's unsavoury recording technique.