Revenge of the Lawn
Scoop Unexpected Fire Award
A section of Revenge of the Lawn have just returned from a successful weekend at the National PyrOlympics Games at Thetford. The PyrOlympics is a semi-secretive and unofficial event that takes place at a different location each year and is definitely not sanctioned by the Health and Safety Executive (hence the furtive competition in a different location each year).
It's taken the band several years to pluck up the courage to enter the competition. The band have been willing to enter other less dangerous events such as cheese-rolling and the Birdman of Bognor, but this was in a different league. Getting drunk with large numbers of pyromaniacs in a field in the middle of nowhere and then launching oneself onto large blazing logs in the middle of a conflagration to perform various manoeuvres, seemed like total stupidity.
However, Anti-Sabitarian, Quaker, Skiphilister and Manouche all did just that. As Team ROTL, members not only won certain individual events, but the team also won the overall team points category. To their surprise, they won a team trophy for a beautifully-executed, symmetrical Fleur-de-Lys in a pyramidal arrangement with contra-inverted crown. They only sustained one burnt boot (penalty points for that, obviously) and slight charring of one ankle.
Not bad for a debut performance. Well done, mateys.