... out of the near murky skyline emerged the erect grandeur that is Mount Ashey Seamark. How we cheered, firing snowballs in the air in delight.
At 15.00 precisely, the snowball contest started. The only other three teams to make it up there were Team Wightlink, Team Albany Prison and Team B & Q. This laughable trio of mountaineering light-weights came up the laughably infantile west face after driving up there in 4 x 4s.
The first fight ended in a quick victory for Team B & Q, who snow-ploughed through Team Albany Prison. Here John "Goliath-Arm" Pearson hurls the fatal snowball at a cowering mass murderer from Team Albany Prison.
Team Wightlink bring down the winning 10 kilo "Old Testament Judgement" snowball down on the fragile back of Team Albany prison, which snapped like a twig.
However, outright winners were Revenge of the Lawn, who took out all three teams, physically as well as on points. The team gained big points for combatting in the nude. However, with no clothes on, Revenge of the Lawn were noticeably more nimble, agile and quick. There was also room for molesting opponents with a thrust or two of the immediate parts, although this is normally strictly forbidden in Grand Contests.
The final was between Team Wightlink and Revenge of the Lawn. Here, Musician (BA Jazz Hons.), wielding a 3 kilo ball, looms over a fallen Wightlink player, who pleads for mercy. It's a serious and deadly game, with no room for sentimentality, so Musician [see inset picture] rises up on his two hind legs to reveal his genital splendour and then brings the snowball crashing down on the other player's shamefully bowed head. It's what his opponent would have wanted.
The contest is brought to a close with a snowboarding demonstration by the B & Q Symmetry Snowboarding Display Team.
Team Revenge of the Lawn leave the summit by the west face ...
... and bid a welcome farewell to Mount Ashey summit.
Looking down the west side of Mount Ashey, where Team Albany Prison have broken down and haven't yet sussed that we put sugar in their petrol tank.
We quickly head off back to Ryde, past some alarming skid marks,
made by the team monocycle of Team Wightlink.
A last look back at Mount Ashey, pleased to be off her wild, inhospitable summit ridges but content in the knowledge that we, Revenge of the Lawn, had tamed her, the flirty, little minx.
And so the team head off, back along country lanes to a victory celebration in Ryde as 2010 Grand Island Snowball winners, but missing one team member. Musician remained running around naked up on Mount Ashey for another six hours.
POSTSCRIPT
Team Revenge of the Lawn were severely reprimanded by their manager, when it was discovered in a Team debriefing that they had forgotten to plant the flag on the summit of Mount Ashey. As a consequence, the team was ordered up onto the slopes of the mountain a day later to finish off properly what they had started on Wednesday.
And so the team set off again, along the ridge of Mount Brading.
Snow can be seen drifting across still in the strong winds.
Ashey Seamark on the summit of the mountain in clear conditions [compare with earlier blizzard picture].
The flag is planted and the mountain is rightfully claimed in the name of Revenge of the Lawn.
The trumpet froze to the lips of the player, so we hummed the fanfare. It was a touching and moving moment.