Wheelie bins looking tough last Saturday at Totland Esplanade, as they look for aggro.

In scenes similar to A Clockwork Orange, dressed in a red 'uniform' and lounging around with their lids drawn back in a tight snarl, these waste disposal units group together in narrow streets and alleyways to jostle you, the innocent pedestrian, and then to stop you from getting past. They jeer at you with tough scowls, before making a sexually suggestive remark, and then return to physically abusing you, when you politely decline.

I mean, what sort of a shopping trolley do they think I am?
Suffice to say, Revenge of the Lawn have predictably written a song about the whole issue with unpredictably minimal arrangement and instruments.

However, the main over-riding theme in this song is the singer's [Rattlehead] determined attempt to remain 'authentic' to his existential self by continuing to read writings about Noddy. He desperately and successfully avoids 'bad faith' by remaining true to himself and by not making excuses for his inability to enjoy Jean-Paul Sartre's writings.

The singer starts by showing us he's had a moment of weakness, but, through song, he attains a recognition that he is a being who is responsible for who he is and how he is. He decides that he will not allow his Being to be dictated by the world or by how the world thinks he should be. In achieving this self-responsibility (by admitting his deep-seated preference for writings about Noddy), the singer narrowly escapes Bad Faith, but thereby acquires the anxiety and torment conferred by accepting freedom of choice.

By choosing Noddy over Sartre, he has thrown off the chains of moral self-deception, in a self-determining gesture, of which Sartre himself would have been proud.

You see, classical music isn't beyond Revenge of the Lawn by any means. Only, they take their cue from some of the more raucous Bierkeller classical music that Beethoven, Hummel, Spohr and other Germans revelled in, when not having to write high-brow stuff to earn a crust. The drunken style of most bierkeller brass playing is ideal for Revenge of the Lawn, cos ... well, I think you know the rest.

This song also features a sackbut, an old Medieval English reed instrument. There are very few musicians who are able to master this strange rasping instrument, but Revenge of the Lawn are lucky enough to have one in Anti-Sabitarian. Listen out for his beguiling and enchanting solo later in the song, as it's the only known example in a song by an Island band.

... just to prove that Revenge of the Lawn are not the bumbling, inept, musical fraudsters you thought they were, but are in fact very fine musicians. Oh, yes, as this song shows, most of the band are fine masters of both their instruments and composition, arrangement and harmony.

And if you think that's unbeatable, then you're in for a treat - wait till you hear the proper original version [see above] with the brass section in full blaring order.

For the full story on this sad saga, read Bill O'Neill's letters and responses from other concerned parties (Feb. - May 2008) on Bitching Page at House of Cheese.

A character called Handbag Nigel happens to be one [see letters on Bitching page at House of Cheese].

This is a first take mix in a manner exactly as the Lord intendeth. Suffice to say, we will probably try to redo it.

Many's the scar that a true Oil O' Woighter can show you from their battles with the old M.V. Southsea! Me? No, mate - I'm a lily-livered Overnor - I got more sense - I've been chewing my foot for years.

Written by Robert B. Sherman and Richard M. Sherman. In the film, the song is performed by Sally Ann Howes and Dick Van Dyke [left].

Mrs. Jones orders a plant. A man comes to deliver it. Mrs. Jones cannot be found. He searches and searches for her. She is absent.

And here's the dilemma:
What do you do about the plant that is quickly outgrowing every container you have?

Do you just dump it somewhere when no one is looking?
NO! Because you are a conscientious, self-disciplined courier, who will do your duty to the last.

So how do you avoid being swamped by a fast-growing forest on your delivery round?
Well, the song has the solution.

This song also inspired retrospectively the film Hellzapoppin', in which a ferocious Lindy Hop is featured and which can be found somewhere else on this site.

No, I don't think you realise how momentous that was. More bands should be writing about it.

You'll be pleased to hear there's no brass in this one, but there is alot of atmospheric singing.