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Please note I have removed the @ and any full stops from all email addresses on this page to try and fool the E-mail combines. If you want to email someone you will have to put these characters back in. Click here to see Stats!
Messages for 2007
2007
Teija Siltala - Sat 29 Dec 2007
Email : I am paranoid
Subject :

  Message:  

I was very annoyed to find my name and letter appear in this site. Please remove it immediately. I am respectable, elderly member of society and if Google public search shows my name in this type of connection it is very harmful. I did wrote that inquiry in a good trust, believing I could finally find my old friend. It was not meant to be published. Do you understand that?
     


Oh hi Rob. You had me going there for a minute.
     


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Throatwobblermangrove - Mon 10 Dec 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

re xmas eve photos, kim fuller should read kim fautly, fots gig pic of rog & sarah in castle man on left is mick sivell. please try harder!!
     


All has now been corrected.
     


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Revenge of the Lawn - Thu 06 Dec 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Dear Dave, You've been hosting our website for nigh on 4 months now and we realised we haven't thanked you. So, thank you. Revenge of the Lawn.
     


F**k off you bunch of c**ts.
     


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Rob Martin - Sat 24 Nov 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

There. Are you happy now?!
     


Malarious
     


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Obq - Sun 11 Nov 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Semi automatic? so you still have to cock the hammer back from time to time then...
     


Yes but feel the speed. Response time measured in hours, not days. Hang on... it's jammed...
     


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Teija (andersson) Siltala - Sat 10 Nov 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Hi, I noticed You have got some material of the band Django Ratix. Do you have any idea where to find Craig Anderson. I am not a fan, he was my very close friend 22 years ago, but I have lost contact. Can you help?
     


No I can't. We were speculating about the whereabouts of the Anderson brothers just the other day. I'm sure this message will get a response eventually though. Is this about maintainence payments?
     


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Richard Sleep - Sun 05 Nov 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Hi Dave This isn't a complaint I'm simply too dumb to figure out how to post anything on your site. Yes the Grosvenor Road Reunion was surrealistic. Very nice to meet you anyway. She who cannot be named (Tina C) gave me a hug and said "Richard" - Weed believes this to be a record. Later three people who I didn't know from Adam ordered me to sit down and this girl snapped "Do you work in a circus?" "er no" "well you look like a clown" and proceeded to berate me for about 15 mins to my utter confusion. Finally the pissed-off looking guy growled at me "I remember you, you ripped me of for a quid deal in 1972" - luckily you turned up to ask "Is this true" - Like I'd have a clue! Danny and Janet stayed at my place the next day, which was a lot of fun, since we could bitch about people!
     


I turned up and asked is what true?
     


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O B Quiet - Sat 01/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Thats funny...I don't remember writing that last email...still it must have been me 'cos I do have a stiff leg and an imposter wouldn't have known that would they? Anyway thanks again to all the person who has been listening to my songs. OBQ
     


Keep sending them in and I'll keep putting them up.
     


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O B Quiet - Sat 01/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I have a bloody stiff legg. been up pub tho...got a free pint...thanx to all the people wjho ha ve downloaded my songs, I love u all..OBQ XXX
     


We aim to plaid.
     


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Rob Martin - Sun 14/10/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I've tried not to rise to f**king Tony Cornell's bait and I've stayed silent for long enough, hwile f**king f**king Tony Cornell babbles insane, jealous crap about us. what a f**king f**ker - hes just a shit for brains. Re the picture in his e-mail - what did he expect us to f**king look like in that buggering year - everyone looked bloody thin in that year!!!!!! We'd just had the spaghetti famine of '81, after the Brussel Sprout shortage of '80, following the semolina blight of '79 and you mustn't forget that taking Do-Do's was the height of fashion. course we were all f**king thin then - is it any wonder? . And then in 1981 came catastrophic Lean Wednesday. I did f**king well just to get those two girls just to look at my muscles - most people then just had skeleton arms to look at. SO piss off Cornell. Here's a picture of my shockingly muscley arm today just to prove what an adonis I am normally.
     


Yeah! You tell him Rob! Tony has always been sensitive about his arms since he had them both in plaster after that terrible wanking accident in 1980. He never should have watched that documentary about the sea otters.
     


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Tony Cornell - Tue 09/10/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Dear Mr. C-Bits, It's been a while since I've written and I've become aware that a number of people believe that much of what I wrote about The Bebop Dustbins was exaggeration, distortion or down-right lies. They say that no band could be that inept or vacant, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Au contraire, my little disbelieving puddin's, and I have the photos to prove it. This one shows the pathetic lengths the band would go to try and impress girls. The photo shows one of them displaying his pallid, puny biceps to two female passers-by. Limp-wristed and believing that muscle display in swimming trunks would have them swooning, our poor, deluded fool actually believed the girls were interested. In fact, the reason they were staring was because they were amazed at the stringiness of his muscles, and both commented aside to me later that they hadn't seen such stringy limpness since the previous winter when confronted with a plate of very late in the year runner beans. I do have more shameful photos of the band. And you know me, Mr. Bits, I'm not one to shy away from humiliating The Bebop Dustbins, whenever I'm given the chance. Expect new photo releases in the future. Yours exposing-charlatans-for-the-public-good as ever, Tony Cornell
     


I've always found Rob to be muscled, full-bodied and sleekly toned. This picture must have been taken during the dreadful spaghetti famine of 81.
     


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Handbag Nigel - Sun 30/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Why, oh why, is there no information on O.B. Quiet? It's a crying scandal and a screaming-out-in-frothing-rage disgrace! Please can we have a potted biography immediately, especially now that cold, winter evenings are almost upon us. P.S. I feel that I might qualify for Legend status owing to my legendary shennanigans on the CB radio in Portsmouth in the early 80s, which are a legend and which left me with a legend-sized reputation as the legend who thankfully killed off CB radio. Just ask anyone in Portsmouth. Do you become a Legend by using the word 'legend' as many times as you can get away with it in a sentence? Cos if you do, I think I might be one.
     


There will be biographical information as soon as some one can be arsed to write it. And since I am sensing that you know absolutely nothing about Mr Quiet you may be just the person for the job. This would have the secondary {a|e}ffect of cementing your existence in the physical world and thereby increasing your chances of acquiring legendary status to the nth degree.
     


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T. Walton - Mon 17/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I don't wish to be a legend. Let O have that distinction. Tony
     


A: You are of course presuming that you'd qualify. B: I bet you'd soon change your mind if there was a badge or a t-shirt. We were talking about what criteria would be required to be a legend (a House of Cheese™ legend anyway) and we would like the "people" to submit them. I'll make a form eventually but would be interested in any early suggestions. I think Owen probably qualifies on the basis that he is the subject of "The Scrounging Song" though it would have been a lot more certain if someone else had written it. The thing that probably swings it for me is the "Owen Going Home" track on "Dead Above the Neck" (that and the fact that we were constantly taking the piss out of him and he probably deserves a break). But we can't have people being legends just because they played in a band otherwise every Tom, Dick and Harry would have to be included. I wouldn't argue with Dread being a legend on the basis of his amazing musical CV but mainly because he played on "Magpie" and did a lot to provide well decorated housing in the Ryde area. Razzle I wouldn't argue with either mainly because I've heard loads of stories about him but never met him (isn't that what a legend is?). I think I'd have to award Weed legendary status as well for starting the whole "Cats Like Plain Crisps" thing. So here are some early suggestions for "Legend" criteria. I think you would probably have to qualify in more than one criterion:
  • You could be the subject of a song, but it's got to be a good song and probably deeply ironic (Matt Turner would probably get this one).
  • You could be in a legendary band, but it would have to be something massively different (Joy Division maybe).
  • You could be a character in a book or a film but again it couldn't be just any film.
  • I think leading a Mongol horde and/or founding a civilisation would probably still qualify.
  • Being suspected of being an alien life-form would probably count (Pete might get this one).
Suggestions on a postcard please.
     


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Mrs Oogle Boogly - Tue 25/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Ola says what's your email address Lanky's bro, and your song words were UUUrghhh making p.s you were obviously impersonating someone Mrs Oogle Boogly knew at the reunion x
     


I've sent my email via Weed. Would you like to be more specific about the lyrics? PS I've got no idea what your PS means.
     


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Weed - Tue 25/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

bad internal links on home page "What's New - 24/09/07" links to "Weed" and "Richard Sleep" point to - http://www.cheesybits.com/page5.html#weed4 http://www.cheesybits.com/page5.html#sleep2 and arrive at "This Page Has Moved"
     


Thanks for that. They should be working now.
     


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Dr Phibes - Tue 18/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

The Time of the Jelly Bosomed Squid will return and you will be forever haunted by the verbal gattling gun and the Legend of the Burning Sock.! Beware of the Stained Trousers of Avalon lest they catch you unawares.! "Cats Like Plain Crisps" but they like urinating in your shoes more and remember the old fable that Farting is Fun and to play blow football with your bottom is a cause for admiration.! Nab Funk - the band from the Abyss !
     


Okay I've decided now. Hello Si.
     


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Tony Cornell - Mon 17/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Dear Mr. C-Bits, I think that if you and Owen Lee are going to become Legends, then I also merit the honour of becoming a House of Cheese™ Legend too. Please send me forthwith further information and an application pack. I look forward to being called before an interview panel to state my case. Will reading your brochure "How to become a Legend in your own Lifetime" help my submission or do you have to be dead to qualify for Legend status? Yours, the ever hopeful Legend applicant, Tony.
     


Do you know what? That isn't a bad idea. If we could reduce it to a simple online form I could set it up here at The House of Cheese™ website. Anyone could apply to be a legend. But what would be the yardstick by which we judge and who, pray, would be de judge. And what would be the benefits of legendary status? You would definitely deserve a star by your name when you post here. It could be like Ebay you could have a different colour star depending on how legendary you are. But what would the benefits of being legendary be? There would surely have to be some tangible advantage? I draw the line at sexual favours, especially as the only person with legendary status thus far is Owen. Perhaps there could be a badge? After all it worked for Blue Peter. Answers on a postcard please.....
     


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T. Walton - Mon 17/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Enjoyed the old pics. I was obviously at Penny's party but have no recollection. There probably won't be any photos of you at parties because there was a silent conspiracy not to invite you. When everyone you knew said they were going home for a quiet spliff and a cup of cocoa that was code for, 'don't tell Dave about the party 'cos he'll look too uncool on the photographs and anyway he always breaks something like he did at Rod Gammons'. I saw you on the telly. I'd just finished watching some dreadful vampire movie on the Horror Channel and in switching off the TV I accidentally flicked on to a minute or two of the Bestival and there you were, all in red, gazing lovingly at Suggs. Tha'sallfornow
     


I bet you didn't teach me the real Walton's Secret Sign either! Re: Telly does that mean I get to be a legend now?
     


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Lisa - Sun 16/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Hellloooo, I was like, Cheesy peas, oh cheesy pie, oh its something with cheesy in, then I saw your post on the bestival site, thanks loads. Please may I nick one or 2 of your pics for my facebook? only the ones with me in ofc :P bestsat202 & a few b4 that 2? I wonder who that photographer who got shirty with you was, there are some links to 'pro's' sites that have some very arty but highly naff pix on...they'll be his. We had a wicked bestival (as ever) roll on next year Besti wishes Lisa x
     


Praise the Lord! Somebody remembered. I must have recited the website address 3 or 4 hundred times over the weekend and you are the first person to visit (well the first person to visit and admit it). Help yourself to any pictures you want I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention to cleaning the lens/not pointing the camera directly at the sun at the time. I would appreciate a link or at least a mention of where you got them when you post them. The shirty photographer was probably being shirty because I pushed him of his perch so you can't really blame him (for being a c**k). If someone had said they were only going to be in the way for the first two songs I would have been more tolerant. Also if somedody gave me a nice camera and a press pass I would probably........no what am I saying I'd probably be standing in the audience, mashed, taking pictures of people's feet. See you next year.
     


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Sean Bolger - Fri 07/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Hello! Just surfed into The Waltons section of the site, saw your collection of MP3's and wondered whether you want to add another couple of tracks to the pile? I've got the original Brown Rice/Pain killing Time 7" single from 1985 and although it's not 100%, it's not far off in terms of quality. I used to be a DJ at Southern Sound Radio in Brighton and received it as a promo copy when it was released. Having first seen the band on Anika, I was a big fan of the track and remember playing it on air many times - those were the days when we could still choose our own records. ;-) Anyway, you may still have it yourself but just let me know if you do want me to dub you a copy and I'll get on the case. It might take me a week or two to find a studio quality gram I can use, but I'll do my best. Cheers for now,
     


Yeah I think I do still have a copy somewhere but find it very hard to listen to. The reasons I've never posted it are: a)I'm not sure who owns it, and being a law abiding citizen etc etc b)I can't stand it. I think the band all feel pretty ambiguous about it. That whole signing a record deal thing was done after we had decided to split up and so we all had a "we've got nothing to lose" attitude to it all. We should have died a natural death in the beginning of '85, instead we were kept alive with intravenous drips and dialysis machines. It was sad really. Once we found out that the record company saw us as the next "Black Lace" we knew it was doomed to failure. No body was prepared to argue. We even talked about whether it was worth causing trouble at the recording sessions, you know, nicking the master tapes or something but nobody could be arsed. Hats off to Steve Kellet though. When we first heard about the record deal he said that we should make absolutely sure that we didn't release "Brown Rice" as a first single or we would be forever branded as a comedy band. What I'd really like to hear is a recording of "Brown Rice" from '86 when we used to do a long jam in the middle of it. I've never suffered that! Southern Sound Radio? You don't know Kairen Kemp do you? I was supposed to be keeping her abreast of what was going on on The Island but lost her card (and the will to live) once I sobered up.
     


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Weed - Sun 02/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

(flood warning imminent?) -- and it came to pass that Rick Blair played guitar in short-lived Grosvenor Road Street Band "Burning Sensation", with Andy Anderson on drums (who became professional session and touring drummer... yep, one of those who got paid for it) and Keith the Bass on er... bass (who hooked up with emerging festival band "Here & Now" at the legendary (aren't they all?) 1975 Watchfield jam, and was still with them when they played the Astoria a few weeks ago), and maybe Jack Neate on sax (who also later played with "Here & Now") -- by the by, a wake was held a couple of days ago following the death on 19th August 2007 of Suze the Blues (singer/dancer in "Tribe", "Here & Now", "Planet Gong" and "The Androids of Mu") -- anyway, then Rick & Julie got together, moved south to Brighton (where Julie had been at college in the mid 60s), Rick's band "Attrix" recorded the excellent "Hard Times" / "Lost Lenore" (RB01), and so the label/shop was born Harry said WHAT? and he's still alive? retroactive retribution can't be ruled out by she once known as T... C...... (aka T... Fink) whose ex-name must never be spoken aloud, and whose current name i dare not mention on the same domain -- o me miserum (GCE Latin, failed, twice), i fear i've said too much already... rather it be hordes of wild axemen than the anger of she who can not be tamed... Ave, cheesybits, morituri te salutant
     


Blimey. It's still a small world isn't it. I remember being at a party at Grosvenor Road where a band played (drums, bass, guitar and vocals). The bass and guitar had massive amplifiers and the vocalist had bugger all. He was screaming until the veins stood up in his neck and we couldn't here a thing. I was aware of the fact that there were connections between Gosvenor and Here & Now but was never quite sure what they were. All the Brighton punks went to see them when they came down and they were much liked (the fact that we didn't have to pay was probably a factor). I remember everyone being extremely impressed by their drummer who was manic. I never saw Gong which I regret. I saw Steve Hillage once but thought he was a self indulgent toss-pot. Then a couple of summers ago Da(e)ve Allen came and played at The Winter Gardens in my home town of Ventnor (IW) (don't ask me how that happened) and that was a full on, in your face brilliant gig (though I nearly passed out from the heat). I played at the same venue once with The Waltons it had an awful acoustic. There seemed to be a two second echo on everything you played it made it very difficult to keep in time. I think Da(e)ve Allen got round this by turning everything up to 11 so what with the heat exhaustion and the bleeding ears I had a great time. He also came on and played with the support band Kangeroo Moon who I thought were a local band but having seen their website I think not. I don't know what their connection with The Island is. Re: Your comments on she who must not be named. I'm a bit worried about this whole reunion thing. If everybody turned up won't it just turn into a massive knife fight (or at the very least a pie fight). I'm sure there are some people from those days that won't want to be in the same room as other people from those days. Is there going to be security? Will we have to check our axes at the door? Will Harry Potter be there?
     


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Weed - Sun 02/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

PS cross-reffing Brighton punk scene and Cats Like Plain Crisps (the graffiti), Rick Blair lived in house opposite at the time of the original writing, and Julie (who i knew from North Lincolnshire way back in the early '60s) had moggie (from which i caught the most fleas ever) that i think was amongst those helping (or hindering, can't remember which) with the original research
     


Blimey. It's a small world isn't it. Again I have to say that I don't remember Rick or Julie but I saw The Parrots on at least a couple of occasions. I had no idea they were from Grosvenor. Harry came down to see me in Brighton when I was in Smeggy and the Cheesybits and said that he bumped into Tina Chapman while he was there so maybe that explains what she was doing there.
     


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Weed - Sun 02/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

hi Dave / Harry / anyone else, more Cats Like Plain Crisps stuff ... there's a Grosvenor Road reunion to be held in Twickenham on 22nd September 2007, "for those who lived there, those who passed through, those who visited, and those who were friends of people who lived there" (and of course it would be churlish to exclude anyone associated with bands of the same name) -- more info (+ list of who's likely to be there) on message board (nothing like as colourful as cheesybits) at http://www.wussu.co.uk/grosvenor/wwwboard also there's a new GR gallery just been added (including pics of some extremely wasted early 70's hippy squatters) at http://www.wussu.com/squatting/joelle_gr.htm (identities in process of being revealed via alt text) -- however, back to the nub of the affair, there's still no photo of the original CLPC, tho tantalisingly, several of the pics were taken within a few feet of it... surely it can only be a matter of time before one appears... with a bit of luck no more than a couple of reincarnations -- on the other hand (as Fermat might have said to his missus) leaving it semi-shrouded in mystery can't harm people's imaginations :) all good things
     


It would be nice to drum up the IOW contingent to attend this function though the chances are I wouldn't recognise anybody there. You've got to bare in mind that I was probably only about 14 or 15 when I used to come round there and I only visited about a dozen times and a couple of those times were parties so I don't remember much about anything. Then you have to factor in that I was having a relationship with some one who's ex-boyfriend either lived there or was a frequent visitor and had a reputation for threatening people with an axe so I never felt particularly relaxed when I was there. Anyway I will pass the word on and see what happens.
     


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O B Quiet - Sat 01/09/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I did of course mean NO ONE not none. And it wasn't a ploy to get more links to my music. In fact it didn't even occur to me that there was the remotest possibility that links to my music would be in anyway forthcoming. But thanks anyway.
     


We aim to plead.
     


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O B Quiet - Fri 31/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I would just like to remind anyone who is reading this that there are three tracks of mine available for down load, seeing as none seems to have noticed yet.
     


What do you mean "none (sic) seems to have noticed yet"? You surely weren't expecting anyone to comment on them were you? Some of this music has been available for months/years and usually the only comments I get are people complaining when the links don't work or, more usually Mr Quiet, when they have set up their browser incorrectly or don't know how to right click on a link. If you are willing to trawl through this page I would be interested to know if anyone has ever said anything nice about any of their music on this site. Or is this just a ploy to get extra links to your music. Well let me tell you, that ain't gonna work.
     


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Tony Cornell - Fri 31/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I believe your witness, Tony, is under a misapprehension when he says "there was only ever one guy that clapped" at Looney Tunes gigs at the Crown. I well remember going to those gigs with several mates and clapping on the odd occasion - well, on quite a few, in fact. One of my mates has a very, very poor, hissy tape of a gig at the Crown and you can hear alot of clapping. I think Mr. Tony is as guilty of hyperbole as I am of bathos. In fact, wishing to appear pedantic, I would go on to say that most Looney Tunes gigs were noisy affairs and that those that did not clap were probably too preoccupied watching the new fangled video jukebox, but I do remember at least 73% of the audience clapping [with a Standard Deviation of only about 6%] - I feel it could be argued that, at times, it dropped to near 50%, but certainly no lower. The Medina Borough Council's Leisure [Pub Music] statistics for the Year 1982-83, as published in their yearly report "Social Trends 1982-83", records a lowest recorded clapping rate for a Looney Tunes concert as 39% (as opposed to 62% for Sigma, a typical band of the time), but I believe this figure is erroneous. I feel that Mr. Tony has over-exaggerated the poor applause for dramatic effect.
     


My! What a wonderful band Sigma were (Jason King on Lithium). Many was the time etc I can't think of anything decent to write while Rob is talking in my left ear. I'm sorry.
     


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Jessica - Wed 29/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Hey, you forgot to mention that the other reason the tape cases were so poorly assembled was that you were using child slave labour! I think I got RSI from colouring in so many red eyes... Apart from that...I like the site and I hope you're well
     


Hey Jessica! I remember you (though I suspect you've changed a bit since last time I saw you). You did stirling work with the DATN covers. We were torn between using child labour or slave labour in our sweat-shop but then we realised you would encompass both.
     


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Richard Sleep - Tue 28/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

re my January post, it was indeed weed that invented the slogan "Cats Like Plain Crisps" - I was pretty much there in Grosvenor Road (Twickenham) when he did it. We were talking about market research, and we had these cats, and these crisps, and one thing led to another... but who the hell is Harry? How does he know who I am (he is right) - it sounds like you had an amazing scene on IOW - sorry I missed it (there may be alternative theories I understand)
     


That's pretty much how I heard it happened. Harry was known as Lanky at the time.
     


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Ian @ Strings - Wed 22/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Yes it is true.I (as of this morning) do have a good watchable version of "Annika" on DVD ....du dah!!.All three episodes (although there is only Waltons footage in the episdoes 1 & 2). Not bad for 7 and less than 24 hours p&p.Never realised there was almost three full Waltons toons + a few shots of Mr.Bits lurking at Ryde St.Johns train station looking like he wants to disembowel someone foreign.As this is in the public domain and not available hardly anywhere I shall attempt to burn said discs and pass onto those who show enough enthusiasm. Let me know.
     


Is this in the public domain? What makes you think that? If it is I'd like a copy, if not I couldn't possibly accept one.
     


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T. Walton - Wed 22/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

It would be easier for me to phone you than keep doing this. Your turn.
     


I can't think fast enough to use a phone anymore. It would be like talking to somebody on the moon.
     


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T. Walton - Tue 21/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I can't find a way of flipping between the Bitchin' page and this one and my short-term memory ain't good enough to remember all the points you raised that I was gonna reply to but I'll have a go go...
     


Try Alt and Tab
     


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T. Walton - Tue 21/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I will reply in full to all that but I don't have the energy today except to ask, "What money"?
     


The money to buy the pizza of course!
     


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T. Walton - Sun 12/08/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Can I really have been the last person to post on this site? Is this a sad reflection of your site or of me? Love the Dustbins filums especially Rob's red zip-up-cardi-thingy with the white stripes down the sleeves, I remember it well, it was the height of cool at the time and I always gazed upon it with envy. I have the original recordings of Annika too. You could have asked me for them and then I would have been able to have the satisfaction of saying, "No Sodoff", now that I sense this competetive edge creeping in since I started the MySpace site. I didn't know that they were recorded on a Nagra, I thought that the Nagra were a warlike tribe of people from the mountainous area of Eastern India who carried spears and lived on a diet of rats and berries. Shows how much I know doesn't it? As far as film of the Waltons goes I have no idea. I remember that there was filming done at somewhere-or-other and at somewhere else but its all a bit of an amphetamine blur, as if we did it all underwater, which has now gone under the bridge along with the pooh-sticks of my happily misspent youth and not-so-youth. I don't remember ever watching any film of us. Do you? 'Cos if you did then I probably did too. And if you remember then I can tell myself that I do too. Memory... it's a bit like a colouring book. You just need someone else to draw the outlines so you can fill in the the detail and then tell youself that you painted a picture. None of this makes any sense to me. But then it's many years since I expected anything to make sense. STUFF JUST IS. That's about as wise as I get. I don't know why I bother. Although, actually, I don't bother very much. I am glad you allowed OBQ to lay his offerings on your altar. I am sure it means a lot to him. And now we have proof that he is not dead nor is he Elvis and neither are we.
     


1. I don't think it's a sad reflection on anyone. I think it's an accurate indication of what minority appeal this site has for the general populace. Also I'm beginning to believe that a whole generation of people believe that the internet consists solely of Myspace, Youtube and possibly Facebook. If I was a better self publicist I would attract more people to the site but then I would have to deal with more correspondence and post things more often and I really can't be arsed. 2. The stuff you said about Rob is all lies. You never thought he was cool, you thought he was a talent less twat. We used to have long arguments about which was the biggest waste of time and energy - writing songs about unfair political systems that would have no effect whatsoever and ultimately end up sounding like someone having a good whine, or writing songs that were completely mental that would ultimately end up sounding like they were written by someone who was completely mental. This is an accurate and true account of the situation - you've just forgotten. 3. Can I have copies of any Waltons related material that you posess that I don't have. 4. There was loads (by the standards of the day) of film of us. There was our entire set at the Sandown Pier gig, also (I think) the entire set at the Song Festival, there was all the stuff that they did during Annika and that entire Looney Tunes gig at Puckpool. Also I remember someone showing me some footage of a gig that they took which may have been the King Kurt gig at the college (but may not have been). This all stuff that should be available for download, somebody must have it sitting in a box somewhere which is fairly pointless when it could be shared with the four or five people that regularly come to this site (also my son would love to see it {whether he likes it or not}). 5. You sense there is a competitive edge creeping in? I thought this was just a continuation the competition to have the best scrapbook. But seriously the only thing...well actually two things that disturb me about your site is that it dilutes what would only ever be a limited audience for this stuff anyway, and that it's on Myspace. The good thing about your site is that it's just about the Waltons (and presumably you are prepared to update it occasionally) and that it's on Myspace. The House of Cheese™ was just meant to be an archive. I never really meant it to be even as interactive as it is but that said I enjoy being able to disem...dissemm....disseminate music that would otherwise have no audience at all, post the occasional stupid photo and give a home to the lunacy that is the Revenge of the Lawn (bad name) site. I was even considering having a 10 year anniversary party but I doubt if anyone would come. Getting back to the "competitive edge" thing - I was considering changing my Waltons site to be the "Official Waltons Site". But then I thought it would be cooler to be the "Unofficial Waltons Site" and then I couldn't decide which was best and realised that I only wanted to use the one that you wanted to use. I briefly considered using "The Unofficial Home of the Official Waltons Site" (or visa versa) but then I sobered up and (as usual) realised that I didn't really give a f**k one way or the other. Ultimately (barring sudden death) I will post everything I have on the Waltons as I will for all the bands I've been in it's just a matter of finding the time. I still think we should be releasing a CD of Dead Above the Neck mp3s are all very well but they are shit when compared to a CD (even one that has been recreated from dodgy cassettes through a hybrid analogue machine onto a hard disk recorder and then onto a PC). The only thing that I find off putting about this idea is the inevitable arguments that will arise when we have to decide what to do with the money (we could buy a pizza {ha ha}). 6. Yes Owen. Why wouldn't I post his stuff? Send me some of your stuff and I'll post that too. 7. Nargra good. 8. Err
     


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T. Walton - Mon 11/06/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I can't answer either of those questions. I am still looking for Sean. The last sighting I have of him is in Cowes about a year ago. He is the keeper of some fine recordings done in Holland that I would love to get my sweaty mitts on and he also has my copy of the unreleased, unmixed Waltons album. What I am doing now is putting up a new fence in the garden with shocking electrickery and razor-wire to keep them all out. All who? (you may utter and you will sound not unlike an owl). All them people like wot went to the (so-called) IOW Festival corporate sponsored alcohol-fuelled sheep-pen drug-searched mass-karaoke knees-up. I watched a bit on the old tele and thanked myself for not being there. God, I hate people. Especially when there are lots of 'em all together. I am happy with the fence though. It's not perfect. But then I didn't expect it to be. After all, it's only a fence.
     


I saw Sean and Ralph in Sinsburys a couple of months ago so he hasn't disappeared that much. You've got to remember that he probaly doesn't have a computer. I'm pretty sure that I have a copy of the unreleased un-mixed Waltons album, I've been meaning to mp3 it for ages. I might have a copy of one of the gigs you did in Holland as well. The real question is, "What happened to all the video of us?" I know I sent my last copy off to Asgard or somebody. That would have been the gig at Sandown Pier, but what happened to the tape of the Song Festival? Did we ever have a copy of that? And what about the Looney Tunes gig at Warners? Have you got a copy of that? On a brighter note, Rob has just unearthed a copy of the songs that we did for Annika. its a mono recording but I seem to marimba that that was how they recorded it. It may be mono but it was recorded on a Nagra (queue heavenly quires of angels ). Yes the festival.....I wasn't even prepared to pay 30 for a dodgy wrist band this year. Is it worth it to sit in a field watching telly for three days? No wonder people are driven to drink. Yeah.....fences......Yeah!!!
     


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O B Quiet - Sun 27/05/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Occupational hazard lights are those ones that you turn on when you're busy doing something else, so that other people don't bump into you. Antibiopics were invented by Sir Ian Fleming by growing mould on something during the war. They are used mainly by dairy farmers and NHS doctors to help sickly bacteria get stronger. Whats gone wrong with the bitching part of the site? a lot of it's covered in black stuff that makes it very hard to read. I'm not joking.
     


Very good. I wonder how much time and rescources will be wasted sending spam to that address. If the bitching page still looks weired when you read this (if you can) send me a screen print so I can see what it looks like. The most likely reason is that it's something to do with your browser but I could have missed out a tag somewhere last time I uploaded it. Well done for reporting the problem though, otherwise I would never know.
     


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O B Quiet - Wed 23/05/2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I agree with Tony the conv. at the start of fool is funnny in the extreme. You just have to accept, my dear Cheesy Bits that I just am a legend, it's not my fault, some men are born grate, others have cheese-graters thrust upon them...
     


I will console myself with the knowledge that I was the good looking one...
     


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T. Walton - 04 May 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

The conversation at the start of 'Fool' ( in the dodgy live recordings section ), is the funniest thing on this site. I laughed until I stopped. Do you know who these guys are? We should make them famous ( but not rich ). Changing the subject... Sean, where are you? I am still here. Call me if you are able. I will be in the usual place at the usual time. Usually.
     


Yeah I know who they are, though it turns out only one of them is a bassist. However, I feel their identities should be protected on the basis that somebody probably has a tape of me saying something equally embarrassing when pissed at a gig.......... Hey hang on......I used to do that all the time on stage didn't I. Quetions: Can you work out what we are shouting about at the begining of Johnny? What is that strange noise at the begining of Under the Thumb? What are you going to do next?
     


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Rob Martin S Lawyer - 21 April 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Dear Mr. Bits, I don't think you understand. My client is very furrow-browed and even eager in his intention of taking out a writ and pursuing you to the full extent of the law. And to show how serious he is, he has instructed me to put the severed head of your favourite pet pig in your bed as a warning. Since I can't sneak out to your address in the dead of night for a good week or so, I would be most grateful if you would accept a picture of your beloved and beheaded porcine beauty by way of a threat.
     


Yeah sure! F**k off Rob!
     


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Rob Martin S Lawyer - 21 April 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Dear Sir, A propos the recent internet publication of 12 recordings of compositions, captured on audio tape during April 1983, of the popular musical ensemble known as The Waltons from the Isle of Wight, my client has instructed me to inform you, The Waltons, and you, Mr. Cheesybits in particular, as the webmaster of the site, that it is he, my client, that holds the copyright to the said recordings, according to the Copyright Act, c. 15, 1997, which states that any artist or owner of original material that, knowingly and freely, allows their work to be recorded, whether by photography or by sound recording, is deemed, in the eyes of the law, to have surrendered any right of propriety in the said photographic or musical recordings per se and, ipso facto, the copyright for these recorded compositions have now passed into the ownership of my client. Although The Waltons legally own the copyright on the arrangements, lyrics and music of the compositions, this does not transfer to a nisi prius deus recording made by a third party with the connivance of the said ensemble, as is the case here. My client has directed me to inform you that, unless these are immediately removed, he will be taking severe legal measures against The Waltons, and you, Mr. Cheesybits in particular, as the webmaster of the site. However, before this most unfortunate and reluctant step is taken and in between bouts of most pitiful and anguished weeping, my aggrieved and tearful client states that he is willing to come to some sort of an inamicable and bitter arrangement with you. He does not ask for large sums of money at all (such is the generous and fair nature of my client). No, all he wishes is for you to undertake some humiliating task, to be arranged in the future, when he has decided on the right level of shame and disgrace, and that you video yourself performing said task, which must then be published along with The said Waltons compositions within one calendar week of the videoing. I do believe that you will concur with me that my client is offering The Waltons, not only an easy way out of this legal dog-turd, into which you have stepped, but also very reasonable terms, and that you, being a person of most large foresight, will see the sense in agreeing to my client's requests.
     


Yeah sure! F**k off Rob!
     


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Jonny Sussams - 11 April 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

I liked Gary. I'll let you know if I like you should we meet. I like cheese - so you have half a chance of being my best mate but keep the smeg to yourself.
     


I wonder what happened to Gary? I last saw him in about 1986. I heard he went to Canada. When I new him he had trouble making it down to the pub.
     


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Jonny Sussams - 01 April 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Please settle my mind about the Smeg big cheese. If you were not Gary, who were you? And who was Gary - a figment of my imagination or an unsung hero?
     


What? I thought we sorted all this out months ago! Voici Smeggy aka Gary Cayton(I think) Voici Moi Dave Cheesybits not to be confused with Boaty Dave, Red-Tie Dave or Wanky Dave who, confusingly, also played with the Cheesybits for a while. Now what would be really funny is if you wrote back and said, "Oh you! I never did like you!"
     


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T. Walton - 28 March 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

The first bunch of pics on the Waltons photo page were taken by Stephan Goldsteinburger. If I remember correctly he had an office in one of the Pavilion's towers, (such laughable delusions of grandeur). If I had known then that I was actually going to live this long I would never have given myself some of those haircuts. No, I didn't put the clip from Annika on YouTube. Thasallfornow.
     


One of us has a really bad memory (it's me). I remember it being some youngish bloke in a leather jacket.
     


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Wadda Wewan(t) - 11 March 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

More of owen please...a legend.
     


What is this "Owen is a legend" bollox? Where? In his own lunchtime? Why don't I get to be a legend? Was there some form I did'nt fill in?
     


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Richard Sleep - 07 January 2007
Email : I am paranoid

  Message:  

Weed is and was good friend of mine - re - "Cats Like Plain Crisps" - that was weed did that lol back in Grosvenor road wher I lived too. Apparantly it made it's way into novel by Tony Parsons - funny - I never liked the guy. Was he there too? Love and peace, Richard Sleep
     


Now that's a familiar name but I don't remember you (hardly surprising). Harry tells me that you were the the guy that was into computer programming at an incredibly early stage.
     


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