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| ALL OF NAB FUNK'S FIRST GIG. To those of you who say that this is all puerile nonsense, I say, "What were you doing when you were 14?" (Unless, of course, you were doing something really cool when you were 14, in which case I would say, "Stop persecuting me", in a whiney voice and run away crying like a girl). Get your Nige Smith Badge here! |
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| Title | Key | * | File Size (Meg) |
Length (Mins) |
Comments |
| Somebody's Gonna Get Their Heads Kicked in Tonight |
E | 4.62 | 3:21 | 12th November 07The opening number of Nab Funk's first gig.The tape (a mexican cassette now over 30 years old) was so brittle that it snapped in the middle of this song and I had to stick it back together with sellotape (hence the jump). There is no excuse for the singers appalling timing though (other than the fact that he was shitting himself).Ian Wilson - Vocals and Elvis impersonation. Nige Smith - Sax DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Eastaugh - Bass |
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| The Laughing Samba |
E | * | 4.36 | 3:10 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*It was 20 years before I got the racial slur attached to the title of this song. A chirpy funeral dirge gone wrong.Nige Smith - Vox, Tamborine Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
| The Happy Hermit |
E | 3.2 | 2:19 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*At 2 minutes 19 seconds this instrumental is about 2 minutes too long. Only download it in a fit of desperation.Nige Smith - Mandolin DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass Nigel Blower and two others - Strings |
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| Wet Knickered Woman |
E | * | 3.6 | 2:37 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*A touching and sensitive consideration of the female condition.Nige Smith - Vox, Sax DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Eastaugh - Bass |
| Ain't that a Grand and Glorious Feeling |
E | 4.11 | 2:59 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*Err..Franckly no.Nige Smith - Vox, Spoons Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
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| I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles |
E | * | 4.52 | 3:17 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*Nice fat elephantine brass in this mud wallowing wobbly pig sticker.Nige Smith - Vox, Tamborine, Pig Squeak Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
| Shepherd of the Hills |
E | 4.04 | 2:56 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*A favourite of the Nab Funk Chourus.Nige Smith - Vox, Trombone Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
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| Grinzeye Blues |
E | 3.71 | 2:42 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*Have you ever not appreciated somebody until it was too late?Nige Smith - Vox, Trombone Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
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| Jingle Bells |
E | 3.45 | 2:30 | *NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*I'm guessing it was Christmas then.Nige Smith - Vox, Bells, White Beard, Red Dressing Gown Adam Cripps - Trumpet Pierre Hollins - Trombone, Vox DC Bits - Ukulele Eastaugh - Bass |
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| JESUS FREAK IMITATIONS. *NEW* 7th June 2014 *NEW* Here, for better or worse, is Nab Funk's "studio" album Jesus Freak Imitations. Recorded on one of the early cassette recorders between 1970 and 1972ish (probably) in some really fine accoustics (none of which are evident on the recordings). Credit musy be given to Spock (the first person to ever play me Reggae {or was it Ska}) who I guess gets the title of engineer for pressing the record button and owning the aforementioned cassette deck. He may have been responsible for the weird noises on Synthetic Spitoon (but I have a vague memory that that was someone else). |
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| Title | Key | * | File Size (Meg) |
Length (Mins) |
Comments |
| Intro | E | 3.11 | 2:15 | New - 7th June 2014Nige Smith reads out the forward to a physics text book while the rest of Nab Funk attack a piano with bricks outside the window. |
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| Camel | E | 2.65 | 1:55 | New - 7th June 2014We seriously thought we were the BonzosNige Smith - Ukulele DC Bits - Vocals |
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| Flamenco Flamingo |
E | 1.45 | 1:03 | New - 7th June 2014We spotted a subtle but important conection between Flamenco and Flamingos (to be honest at the time we did this I had never heard of Flamenco but I nodded sagely and pretended that I did).Nige Smith - Ukulele/Vocals DC Bits and Spock - Ineffectual Clapping/Spoons |
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| Down Among the Sheltering Palms |
E | 1.89 | 1:22 | New - 7th June 2014A Nab Funk favourite. Cheesybits sounds like a fairly competant ukulele player until Nige comes in.Nige Smith - Ukulele, Swanee Whistle, Vocals DC Bits - Ukulele |
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| Ain't Misbehavin' |
E | 2.91 | 2:07 | New - 7th June 2014A great song co-written and made famous by Fats Waller. This the first of many times that Nab Funk managed to fuck it up.Nige Smith - Ukulele, Whistling, Vocals DC Bits - Ukulele |
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| Cry Baby Cry |
E | 3.3 | 2:24 | New - 7th June 2014We found ourselves trapped in a small cottage in the countryside with a french exchange student who, importantly, showed us that it was OK to learn to play guitar (he also taught us that it was OK to go up to girls and say, "You want to come in bushes with me?").Patrick the French Exchange Student - Guitar Nige Smith/DC Bits/Al G.S. - Crying |
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| Synthetic Spitoon |
E | 2.98 | 2:10 | New - 7th June 2014Yes we emulated The Bonzos at every opertunity but you have to remember that this was also the era of Prog Rock. How, you may ask could two spotty adolecents with two ukuleles and an primative casette recorder possibly emulate Genesis?Nige Smith/DC Bits - Ukulele Adam Cripps - Wrong Key Horn Spock (Or posibly someone else) - Radio Interference And featuring a Britten/Norman Islander as Itself |
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| Bloodhound | E | 2.84 | 2:04 | New - 7th June 2014By this time I had bought a really crap accoustic guitar (from the very weird Barny's Emporium in Shanklin) and an equally crap Jedson Guitar from the Henwick Hitters, but no amp (hence the very quite and badly played slide guitar).Nige Smith - Accoustic Guitar, Vocals DC Bits - Slide Guitar |
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| Well Well Well |
E | 5.56 | 4:03 | New - 7th June 2014Funny story - Nige and I were recording when the aformentioned John Holmsen happened by, wrapped in a towel (he had been having a shower). He ended up joining in, lying on a bed grabbing his cock (through the towel) and screaming, "Well, Well, Well," at the top of his voice - an image that, to this day I am unable to expunge from my memory. After I left school, or possibly after John left the school two "freinds" told me that he had been run over and killed by a taxi in New York. Later with the dawn of the World Wide InterWeb I started to realise that I could probably track down John's family and they might want to hear this recording. I agonised over this for ages. I kept asking myself, "If my son had died young would I want a recording of him lying on a bed grabbing his cock and screaming, "Well, Well, Well," at the top of his voice or would I rather remember him as a well adjusted individual." Eventually, as is often the case, I decided to ignore this conundrum in the hope it would go away, and most of the time it did. Finally, 40 or so years later, I met the "freinds" again at a school reunion and since one of them was also from New York and a freind of the Holmsen family I asked him what I should do about getting in touch with them. "Oh!" he said, "That was just a joke. Didn't we tell you?" John Holmsen was apparently alive and well and living in New York in a tiny flat where he was busy being a theatre critic.So John, if your'e out there (and you haven't been run over by a taxi in the last few years) this one is for you. And if Mark Laing and Ian Wilson are out there you are a deplorable pair of cunts! Nige Smith - Accoustic Guitar, Vocals DC Bits - Atrocius Guitar, Penny Whistle, Wrong Key Harmonica John Holmsen - Intro, Screaming, generally being American |
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| A Song About the Summer |
E | 2.28 | 1:39 | New - 7th June 2014This is Nab Funk in full band mode. Interestingly I seem to have an amp to go with my crappy guitar but I probably borrowed it. Can somebody PLEASE tell me what this song is called it's been driving me crazy trying to remember.Nige Smith - Trombone, Kazoo DC Bits - Rythmn Guitar Bill Bracher - Clarinet Mark Howland (I think) - Bass |
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| Jam | E | 6.42 | 4:40 | New - 7th June 2014This is the last "track" on Nab Funk's "album" and what do you know we've learned to jam! I'm still probably borrowing an amp but Nige had definately bought the sax he is playing. So what do we do next? See above.Nige Smith - Sax DC Bits - Rythmn Guitar |
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| ALL OF NAB FUNK'S THIRD, FINAL AND LOUDEST GIG. *NEW* 27th July 2007 *NEW* By this time (1974?) we had given up on playing ukuleles and trombones in public having realised that only rock musicians have groupies. The recording was done on an old cassette player and is full of perculiar stops and starts where the person that was doing the recording (GS Baby) had to guess when the songs were going to start - or thought that the song had finished because the crowd noise was louder than the "music". Nige Smith was supposed to be giving the recorder (GS Baby) cues to let him know when to start the tape but he only does this once before "Somebdy Stole My Motorbike" so most of the other songs have truncated starts, many of them have truncated ends, and in some cases, truncated middles as well. The recording quality is, as usual, appalling and is probably only of interest to people that were there (about 150 blokes and 3 or 4 girls). |
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| Title | Key | * | File Size (Meg) |
Length (Mins) |
Comments |
| Lullaby/Heavy Metal Masturbation |
E | 3.67 | 4:00 | This song would be worth downloading purely for the line "Heavy metal masturbation, get me to my destination" if you could hear the lyrics - you can't. Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| There Ain't No Difference Between Heaven And Hell |
E | 1.18 | 1:17 | There is! Hell was probably being stuck in a room with us when we were practicing. Heaven was any other time. Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| Wet Knickered Woman |
E | 2.38 | 2:36 | I think this was the only song that Nab Funk performed at all three of their gigs. Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| Thing In C |
E | 4.13 | 4:30 | It's in C Nige Smith - Lead Guitar DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| Seans Blues/Empty Bed Blues |
E | 2.66 | 2:54 | I seem to remember that there was some swapping around on bass on these blues numbers but I'm not absolutly sure about this. Nige Smith - Lead Guitar DC Bits or Si Rhodes - Bass Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Mark Collier - Drums Pierre Hollins - Gob Iron |
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| Bran Bud Blues |
E | 2.63 | 2:52 | Later massacared (or possibly improved) by Smeggy and the Cheesybits Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| Suzi Q | E | 1.96 | 2:08 | Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox(Possibly) DC Bits or Si Rhodes - Bass Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums Pierre Hollins - Gob Iron/Vox(Possibly) |
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| Other Blues | E | 1.35 | 1:28 | Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox(Possibly) DC Bits or Si Rhodes - Bass Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Mark Collier - Drums Pierre Hollins - Gob Iron/Vox(Possibly) |
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| Somebody Stole My Motorbike |
E | 2.57 | 2:48 | Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| St. Louis Blues |
E | 5.64 | 6:09 | Actually written by somebody called W.C. Handy Nige Smith - Lead Guitar DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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| Silent Night |
E | 2.92 | 3:11 | In the ragga stylee Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums Adam Cripps - Trumpet |
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| Tuff Rock |
E | 9.65 | 10:32 | Believe me, this song is very very Tuff. Nige Smith - Lead Guitar/Vox DC Bits - Rhythm Guitar Sean "the" Ridler - Piano Si Rhodes - Bass Mark Collier - Drums |
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