'; Obscure Badges from The House of Cheese
                                           
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Obscure Badges from The House of Cheese
With only 270 shopping days until Christmas it has never been more important to think of your loved ones (you selfish bastards). What could more demonstrate your love than an obscure and handcrafted House of Cheese™ Button Badge? The House of Cheese™ Tacky Shopping Experience commences with these beautifully designed and implemented items. Each 25mm (approx. 1 inch) badge comes with a precision made pointy bit and clasp to facilitate their attachment to articles of clothing and other material based products (possibly not pillow cases for health and safty reasons). If you truly love* your freinds/children/mother/father/wife/husband/lezy lover/bum chum (delete where applicable) demonstrate your love in the language of badge.

Please read The House of Cheese Guarantee.

DON'T FORGET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THESE CDs.
PLEASE NOTE AT THE MOMENT ORDERS CAN BE POSTED TO THE UK ONLY.
IF YOU ARE BUYING FROM ANYWHERE ELSE PLEASE ENQUIRE FIRST.

The Bill O'Neill's Sandwich Badge       The Bill O'Neill's Sandwich Badge

Bill O'Neill is famous the world over for his irate and ill considered attack on Smeggy and the Cheesybits on Hastings Pier in 1979. This badge commemorates his act of violence and serves warning to those who would embrace this form of demonstrative (dis)approval.

76 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The Ice Cream War Commemorative Badge       The Ice Cream War Commemorative Badge

With a colossal obscurity rating of 79.2, the Ice Cream War Commemorative Badge is our most obscure badge by far. The badge commemorates those that died and were maimed in the violent battles that took place between "The Five Familys" in the early to mid '50s on the beaches of Ryde, Sandown, Shanklin and Ventnor. Strictly speaking it should only be worn between Easter and the start of the school year, but this tradition has been relaxed in recent times.

84 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The Smeggy and the Cheesybits Badge       The Smeggy and the Cheesybits Badge

Based on a design originally sketched on a table napkin in a pub next to the old Albany Empire (Deptford) in 1978 or 1979 while waiting to support Splodgenessabounds. The Smeggy and the Cheesybits badge carries a modest obscurity rating of 39 on the basis that they have been mentioned in a book and almost have an entry in Wikipedia. Celebrate the band that were officially the worst band in Brighton until Dick Damage and the Survivors came along and outclassed them; this badge is anti-art at its best.

27 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The I Licked Katy Pearson Badge       The I Licked Katy Pearson Badge

With an obscurity rating of 43, the "I Licked Katy Pearson Badge" is for those for whom individuality is more important than invitations from harridans in bassinettes. Also a sure-fire winner for the friends of KP who want to teach her not to leave cheeky messages on obscure websites.

95 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The Nige Smith Badge       The Nige Smith Badge

Long presumed dead by his contemporaries, Nige Smith, the multi-instrumentalist musical force behind Nab Funk has recently been spotted on Portsmouth station. He's come a long way since the days of living in a bush in Epping Forest.

97 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The Bum Banditeer Badge       The Bum Banditeer Badge

For those members of the original gay anarchist movement celebrated in the song of the same name. Also makes a fine present for the overtly heterosexual.

100 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The I F**king Hate the West Wight Badge       The I F**king Hate the West Wight Badge

The sentiments of the song are clear and the people have spoken. The song is the most popular download on this site by far and the badge is expected to be equally as popular (certainly among the residents of West Wight). This badge is lovingly created with an authentic looking patina; it looks exactly like it has spent the best part of a decade fading on a display stand in bright sunlight on Ventnor seafront, blasted by salty winds from the south-west and occaisionally trodden underfoot by uncaring shopkeepers before being spit-wiped and replaced for sale to some aging grockle who's eyesight is too bad to spot its shoddy demeanour.
A must for Christmas.

44 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The Nid-dy Vs Jean-Paul Satre Badge       The Nid-dy Vs Jean-Paul Satre Badge

Celebrating Revenge of the Lawn's musical consideration of these two giants of philosophy. It is still not known who would be victorious in a stand-up fist fight, but it is generally assumed that Jean-Paul would be the heavy hitter seeing as his hands are not made of felt. Buy them before the copyright Nazis catch up with me.

53 in stock.
 Price - £1.00

The House of Cheese Fulsome Family Fun Pack       The House of Cheese Fulsome Family Fun Pack

5 of our (soon to be) most popular badges at a cut-down price. We at the House of Cheese™ appreciate what a struggle it is being a single mother with 14 children and so we have created this cost cutting Christmas hamper (in the badge sense). Five badges for the price of Four!
Inc. The Bill O'Neill's Sandwich Badge, The Nid-dy Vs Jean-Paul Satre Badge, The I F**king Hate the West Wight Badge, The Ice Cream War Commemorative Badge, and The Smeggy and the Cheesybits Badge.

Merry Christmas/New Year/Easter/Spring Bank Holiday/Halloween/Spring and/or Winter Equinox {delete where applicable}.
 Price - £4.00

The House of Cheese Diminutive Family Fun Pack       The House of Cheese Diminutive Family Fun Pack

3 of our (soon to be) most popular badges at a cut-down price. We at the House of Cheese™ appreciate what a struggle it is being a single mother with only six and a half children and so we have created this cost cutting Christmas hamper (in the badge sense). Three badges for the price of Two and a Half!
Inc. The Bill O'Neill's Sandwich Badge, The Smeggy and the Cheesybits Badge and The I F**king Hate the West Wight Badge.

Merry Christmas/Thanksgiving/Yom Kippur/Asalha Puja/Navratri/Mevlid/Spring and/or Winter Equinox {delete where applicable}.
 Price - £2.50

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*These badges have been scientifically demonstrated to work equally well as a slap round the face for somebody you truly despise.