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Please note I have removed the @ and any full stops from all email addresses on this page to try and fool the E-mail combines. If you want to email someone you will have to put these characters back in. Click here to see Stats!
Messages for 2010
2010
John E - Thu 04 Nov 2010
Email :
Subject :

  Message:  

Yes, I thought you might want the evidence! (A Nige Smith badge - it's too tempting an offer to resist(!)). However, I'm pretty illiterate when it comes to computer stuff, so the best I can do is to scan the lot and send it as a document. Better than nothing. Stand by your beds! Coming to a computer near you...soon! Cheers.
     


Hmmm. If you must. But it may wind up being too small to be of practical use. You must have an art package on your computer that can save jpegs. Isn't there a twelve year old nearby that can show you what to do?
     


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John E - Wed 03 Nov 2010
Email :
Subject : Nab Funk

  Message:  

Yes, I've raided my archive and located a very sepia-tinted programme for 'Bembridge Young Community Club's 7th Annual Musical Production of Music For You' at the Pavilion Theatre, Sandown on 1st March 1975, featuring, apart from Bembridge Young Community Concert Band, The Wight Musical Society and Bembridge School Orchestra...yes, you guessed it...the Crazy Sound Of the Nab Funk Band. To be honest, it's the only gig I do actually remember! Don't know what we played, but we were definitely there. Probably the first time I've looked at that programme since then. I knew it would come in useful one day!!!
     


Hmm.. 1975. That was before I left. But I don't remember that at all. Well that does it you'll have to send me a copy. Send me a descent sized jpeg (2 or 3 Meg) to johneastaughhassomestuff cheesybits com (see instructions above) I could do with a copy of the "pic from the local rag" as well (I do remember that).

And if you send me an address I will send you a rare and valuable Nige Smith (The Syd Barrett of Nab Funk) Badge as thanks.
     


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John E - Tue 02 Nov 2010
Email :
Subject : Nab Funk

  Message:  

Re my message of 27/10...What, a second gig! - was there one? I'm still reeling 35 years later from the first! (Only joshing - I do remember an appearance on Sandown Pier, which probably wasn't the 2nd outing.) However, I have no recorded legacy of any of it, barring a photo in the local rag - it's all a bit of a blur (I don't mean the photo!), but then most things are with me. Ah well... happy, halcyon days! (Yes, it was a good laugh.) You health,sir...and a Merry Christmas to y'al1!
     


Yes there was three gigs in total if you don't count the one at the old peoples home the one at Westfield Holiday Park in Ventnor and the one at the Caravan Park near Culver. I've got no idea which ones you played at thought. Sandown Pier? That one's new to me.
     


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Revenge of the Lawn - Sun 31 Oct 2010
Email : the lawn btinternet com
Subject :

  Message:  

Re: your 28.10.2010 comment. Stop whining and get on and write some lyrics.
     


Yes I am still waiting for you to send back those lyrics, thankyou for asking.
     


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John Eastaugh - Wed 27 Oct 2010
Email :
Subject : Nab Funk

  Message:  

So...you couldn't remember my first name, y'bastards! Yes it's me, your very ex-bass player, back from the grave. I was just Googling myself (disgusting habit!) when the Nab Funk Download Page materialised before my very eyes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing...or hearing! I admire your nerve, sir. I'm not sure those 'classics' shouldn't have been left in their time capsule for a future unsuspecting public. Still, those early sorties into musical no man's land didn't deter me from my future long, varied and amazingly undistinguished playing career in my galactic journey from Bembridge via Swindon (well everyone's allowed one mistake) to the Land's End peninsula, where I reside in well-deserved obscurity, penning poetry for the odd sheep and anything else a bit slow on its 'pins'. Nab Funk Gawd bless 'er and all who sailed in her. Yes, some things just refuse to die! What...e-mail address? are you mad! (Witheld to protect the innocent.) Go Google yerself!...for my online 'E-Books Made Easy' (no shit, Sherlock). Adieu and fare ye well. Your Servant, &c, &c.
     


Well well good to hear from you John. I think you're far too hard on Nab Funk - we have the best excuse ever (we were only four years old). I don't supose there's any point asking if you have a copy of the second NF gig then? I will put your full name in the relevent places soon.
     


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Johno - Fri 15 Oct 2010
Email :
Subject :

  Message:  

Re: The serious business at hand.
Hear hear! I couldn't agree more. can we please get on with it.
     


Thank you for your support. Let's go!
     


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Madame Poofoof - Mon 11 Oct 2010
Email :
Subject :

  Message:  

as per comment below. it is a well known fact that cats prefer pickled onion. Pickled onion always go down well, and i should know, because I am, in fact, a cat.
     


This may or may not be true but let me ask you this one simple question. Have I at any time stated that that, "Cats Like Plain Crisps Exclusively" or "Cats Dislike All Snack-foods Except Plain Crisps"? No I have not! Now can we please stop this lallygagging and move on to the serious business at hand.
     


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Sherman Mcdoogal. - Tue 28 Sep 2010
Email : sherza_mcdoogy_badwaff_massive msn com
Subject : Cats Like Plain Crisps

  Message:  

dear cheesy bits, im appauled with the statement of "cats like plain crisps" because my cat lesley (a stray cat i found in the care home) likes space raiders, and the flavour he likes most is spicey, im disgusted and down right cross with this dispicable statement that i have informed the head of the care home and she said she will get her son to brick your windows, i hope your happy, you brought this on yourself, and one day if we may meet, i'll chop of your ham and feed it to matty cockle (the gay holiday rep that manages the mens pool) and he said he'll give you a good time, meet him at 6 oclock @ the red bridge in some brown speedo's, my worst regards sherman mcdoogal, have a shit day.
     


Oh dear oh dear, another new age tosser that has turned their back on conventional science. Did your cat take part in a double blind trial run under the guidelines laid down by the general medical council? I think not! Thank you for your apocryphal story about your "cat" and her "spicy" tastes. I look forward to reading the results of your peer reviewed research at some time in the future.
     


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Johno - Fri 24 Sep 2010
Email : I am paranoid
Subject : ROTL's Last Gig Was The Dog's

  Message:  

I thought I might have seen you guys (ROTL) at the PostFest last weekend. Why don't you do more gigs like that instead of obscure stuff in peoples back gardens?
     


Nobody asks us to do them. I admit we ar'n't the worlds best self publicists but surely people that organise events like that must have heard of us. So the bottom line is that they probably don't like us - I think some people just don't get it. And the back garden gig was open to the public and was publicised as much as any of our other gigs.
     


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Antony - Sun 19 Sep 2010
Email : ant antpop com
Subject : Other

  Message:  

Sorry to hear about the knife attack.
     


Thank you for your concern. I was unconscious at the time so there doesn't seem to be much trauma associated with it.
     


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Rob Martin - Fri 10 Sep 2010
Email :
Subject : The Old Subjects Were Better

  Message:  

Re: 09.09.2010 comment. Very Lucid observation, that. Well, it made me smile, especially the image of lots of unemployed musos on the streets, looking lost.
     


     


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Jeb - Sat 31 Jul 2010
Email :
Subject : Smeggy and the Cheesybits

  Message:  

E for Eamazing? if a little quiet. xxx
     


Ef only that was true.
     


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Me - Fri 25 Jun 2010
Email :
Subject : ROTL's Last Gig Was The Dog's

  Message:  

When was Ryde seafront moved to Sandown? I don't remember being at that meeting.
     


Hmm.. that's probably Rob being funny, but I'll ask and if it turns out to be a genuine mistake I'll mock him until he cries.
     


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Tony Cornell - Sun 20 Jun 2010
Email : lordcornell ukonline co uk
Subject : Other

  Message:  

I want to complain. I see that in the Revenge of the Lawn Isle of Wight Festival text, you mention that a cover of "Hey Jude" was performed on a Triple Shielded Impeller Driven Filtration Unit from a Bosch XL-4721-EM. As you know I AM one to find the smallest fault, and, I'm not afraid to say, that what you wrote is in fact wrong. I was there at the Kashmir tent on Sunday just as you did that travesty of a Beatle cover, but obviously I slunk away quickly after hearing it.

Now, I happen to collect dishwashers and I can tell you that what the singer played was the triple-screen, impellor-driven filtration unit of an SRS45E48GB Slimline Bosch Exxcel dishwasher, not what you wrote. Please amend, as there is no such thing as a Triple Shielded Impeller Driven Filtration Unit from a Bosch XL-4721-EM. You're just making yourself the laughing stock of dishwasher collectors the whole world over.

Yours pedantically as always, Tony
     


I'm sorry Mr Cornell but I can only got with what the demented idiot said on the sound file. Until he tells me otherwise the text stands.
     


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Jeb - Thu 10 Jun 2010
Email :
Subject :

  Message:  

Ahhh, the old "I refuse to say anything for fear of incrimination" sounds good about now... xxx (and as much as I hate to say it, they actually weren't that bad! I so wanted to bully him.)
     


I refuse to what now because why now???

If by "they" you mean the recordings I'm glad to hear it. I've just noticed that the live recordings don't have a rating. I'm sure they used to be an "E".
     


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Jeb - Mon 17 May 2010
Email :
Subject : Smeggy and the Cheesybits

  Message:  

Hurrah! We have lift off! Smeg said he'd get in contact when I moaned at him about his cheesybits, but I'm not sure how much of that is true. Either way, you've made me have a big smile :) xxx
     


His cheesybits have long been a source of embarassment to him and worthy of your moans,
     


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Jeb - Mon 17 May 2010
Email :
Subject : Smeggy and the Cheesybits

  Message:  

Sort the mp3's out, I'm dying of curiosity.
     


That's weird. I wonder how long that hasn't been working. It should be OK now.
     


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DC Bits - Sat 15 May 2010
Email :
Subject : Revenge of the Lawn

  Message:  

Re: Revenge of the Lawn's New Tactical Amphibious Assault Team
I must say that I found this article deeply offensive. Can you please stop calling us a 'rock' band. You unthinking callous prick.
     


Yes I agree.
     


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Morphy Richards - Wed 12 May 2010
Email :
Subject :

  Message:  

Ok so I now realise I will not be able to get to your Feb gig let alone 'blow you off stage'.
On a brighter note Mount Ashey has a large place in my heart - used walk up there from my house in Upton as a kid...You have become members of an elite club.
After previously being Person-L, R.Object and Fred Engels I now am part of KikiT VisuoSonic you can see what we get up to at: http://www.visuosonic.org. Got a not very handy gig in Cheltenham in March. Got Mick at the Quay to play with us for that FreeQuay gig the other year maybe we set up another Quay gig.
Cheers
Russell Morphy Richards
P.S. Code BMUS is releasing a compilation album through iTunes later in the year - well every other bugger has reformed why not us...? Don't answer that.
     


--Apologies to Beamus, he posted this letter back in January right when the House of Cheese was at its most disconected and because he put a link in it he had the same trouble as Tony below. I've only just caught up with it.--

For those of you that don't know them Beam Me Up Scotty were a truly brilliant band from Portsmouth that played on The Island a couple of times.

N.B. My memory is good enough to remember that I thought they were brilliant but I can remember fuck all else about them.
     


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Tw - Sun 25 Apr 2010
Email : anarcholoko yahoo co uk
Subject : Other

  Message:  

So... this page would not let me insert my blog address eh? How do I get around that one then. OK. Let's try er... Oh I can't be effing bothered. Bye.
     


Hey look on the bright side, at least you're not in a band on the Isle of Wight anymore.
     


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Tw - Sun 25 Apr 2010
Email : anarcholoko yahoo co uk
Subject : Other

  Message:  

I'm confused now. Spam filter. Anyway back to the answer you gave me previously regarding the red wavy lines... Well that doesn't surprise me. Bastard thing that it is. Anyway I am only here to unashamedly plug my latest(in a longish wavy line of) silly projects that no-one apart from myself seems to be remotely interested in. This is, of course, GLOBAL PSYCHEDELIC SOUNDSYSTEM, which despite the very long and difficult to type name when your fingernails need cutting is just me wearing a hat and pushing buttons on a naked laptop which then magically pumps out a whole bunch of amazing contemporary multi-cultural-cross over bum-shaking-feet-shuffling music from all over the world that (or is it which?) I have been collecting for the last ten years or so. If anyone is remotely interested you can find some mixes here: =========== Now back to the main program....
     


How's that?
     


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Tw - Sun 25 Apr 2010
Email : anarcholoko yahoo co uk
Subject : Other

  Message:  

I have a very important message but I keep getting blocked by the spam filter
     


Just leave out any references to penis extensions, any links and anytrhing relevent or of interest and it should work.
     


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Tw - Wed 07 Apr 2010
Email : anarcholoko yahoo co uk
Subject :

  Message:  

I hate those dropdown boxes. Nothing in 'em ever applies to me. I also hate the way this page is attempting to correct my spelling by putting red wavy lines under fings. Just wants to make me type itallwrong to see howw many red wavy lines Icanget. Now I can't remember what it was I was going to say. But I'llbebackwhen Ido. TW
     


Hey it's not me trying to coreckt your spelling. That's your computer that is.
     


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Meobviously - Wed 17 Mar 2010
Email : I am paranoid
Subject : Other

  Message:  

just wanted to enquire how anyone in your island top 11 chart could be regarded as a "new band" ?? surely the only qualifier would be "The Lawnies" and you excluded yourselves !! lots of love Whingingjealouslyandhopping (ononeleg)
     


Yes. I agree but you are overlooking the most important point viz it's a complete load of bollocks! Anyway I'm not talking to you. frozen pizzas indeed!
     


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Bill - Wed 10 Mar 2010
Email : bill rootdownfm com
Subject : Smeggy and the Cheesybits

  Message:  

Stumbled over your site after stumbling over the punk brighton one shortly after I stumbled in from accidental lunchtime/afternoon beers - all that stumbling had me mentally reaching back to 70something and a gig at The Buccaneer (I think) in Brighton when I stumbled on stage with the legendary Dave and in unison we chanted Fuck Off into the microphone for about 10 minutes while the band ground out a vague Waiting For The Man (I think) riff - inspired improvisation which remains possibly the best 10 minutes of my life - cheers Dave
     


Wow! I don't remember any of that. Glad you enjoyed yourself though.
     


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Alison Rushton - Thu 04 Mar 2010
Email : I am paranoid
Subject : Other

  Message:  

Dear Mr Cheesybits , i wish to complain . Just in general . about a lot of things , mainly that i am 43 now . That's bloody old . Regards Alison
     


Ha! That's not old. Try being in your 50s and weighing 23 stone!
     


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Bill O'Neill - Sat 13 Feb 2010
Email : usual
Subject : Other

  Message:  

We have been waiting in the garden in Eastbourne for ROTL to turn up at our Silver wedding do (21st July). An ice cream van on August 10th gave us false hope. Several people have died of starvation and the stalingrad type winter of january 2010 finished off most relatives over 50. I survive by sucking dew from grass and eating hedgehog poo. I feel this may predjudice my voting for bestival this year.
     


Revenge of the Lawn (being total musical sluts) would, I'm sure, be prepared to play at your wedding aniversaire so long as you pay them enough to get off the island, find them somewhere to stay, and so long as that date doesnt clash with something else (by far the most likely senario). Email address here.
     


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Doris Pubeish - Thu 28 Jan 2010
Email :
Subject : My Hand is Up

  Message:  

hello my name is doris pubeish, my self i totally disagree with this appauling and disgusting gut churning statement, my hand is not up it is typing on the keyboard, who are you to tell me that my hand is up when its blaintly not. my mother catrina pubeish, totally disagrees too , and when i told my goldfish susan, she was completly devistaded, because she has no hands. so now im thinkinh about taking this to court because you have verbally abused my feelings and i want to sue you for the amount of pain you have caused my family (including susan), good day . see you in court soon, doris.
     


... or not.
     


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Dorine Dorito - Wed 27 Jan 2010
Email : dornierockin2k9 hotmail co uk
Subject : Other

  Message:  

excuse me?! mental?
     


It was only an "either or". I'm sure you can convince me that you are not mental by having a lucid conversation with me....
     


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Dorine Dorit. - Thu 21 Jan 2010
Email : dorinerockin2k9 hotmail co uk
Subject : Cats Like Plain Crisps

  Message:  

i like to eat grass sandwiches & you didnt have any, its the only things i eat and they are not available, i think you should offer a wider variaty at your buffets. Also i had a strange man come up to me, he looked a bit like jesus & he said you like cheese dont you, i think he should be directed to a specialist, obviously there is a screw loose. Thanks for your time, Dorine Dortio
     


When I receive messages like this I'm never quite sure whether the author is mental or whether they have mistaken me for somebody else and have infact been to a buffet thrown by that person (and attended by Jesus's looky-likey). I think we need to know.
     


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Dorine Dorit. - Thu 21 Jan 2010
Email : dorinerockin2k9 hotmail co uk
Subject : Cats Like Plain Crisps

  Message:  

well, i disagree with the statement. my cat likes Salt & vinegar & BBQ crisps so once again YOU HAVE LIED!
     


It's just the name of the shop madam.
     


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Phillip Snout. - Wed 13 Jan 2010
Email : 098896786
Subject : Sandwichs

  Message:  

ner.
     


Nur?
     


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