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Obscure Badges and CDs
Links and Shit
See who is better than who[m]
Download highly entertaining and priceless mp3s
Photos, posters and other shit (and shit)
Complain bitterly about this site (or indeed anything)
Make admiring comments about my new buttons, compliment the musicians who are giving of their all for free
See what everyone else is whining about
A small collection of fanzines what I have accrued
Some old stats from 2005
Including the Adventures of Smeggy's Rat
Quote of the decade (and others)
The mystery button (which I will direct at different stuff when I feel like it)
This web site is, as it has been for a number of years, under construction. So some of the links don't work etc. However I will improve things soon™.honest.


But one day I will die.
Visit Sally for links to other sites
To find out how many shopping days there are until Christmas click here.

What's New...


07.06.2014

*Very New*

Now available for download! Nab Funk's "Studio" "Album" Jesus Freak Imitations. More to follow (if you can take it).

08.05.2014

*Exciting News*

Dave Cheesybits invents the Spoon Magnet™.

20.03.2014

The Four Marys scrape their way into the download chart for the first time.

11.03.2014

New Waltons downloads from their second gig at The Greyhound in Fulham

15.02.2014

A message from Bernie Smeggy and the Cheesybits' drummer, and in response, two new tracks from SATCB.

24.11.2013

Here is a nice video of Herr Hitler's reaction to the news that Revenge of the Lawn have broken up.

31.10.2013

In celebration of the 14th anniversery of The House of Cheese™, which occurs this month, I have reconstructed the original website for you to laugh at.

(Actually I think this is the Mark II version of the website. The original was probably a few months older and consisted of just the Waltons pages.)
PS My thanks to achive.org for having so much storage space that they even kept a copy of this old crap.

26.10.2013

Three reasons to re-invent the wheel,
  • You just want a wheel.
  • You want to understand how a wheel works.
  • You want to accidently invent the hovercraft.


25.10.2013

Since Dave Cheesybits' release from captivity he has been recovering in warmer climes and taken to writing right-wing poetry. Here is his latest, with the evocative title "####".

####

Dear Hugh Fernly-Witting####,
You ####!
Once I was able to buy eggs.
Now I ###'#.

Dear Jamie Oli####,
You ####!
Once I could go to Tescos
And buy a chicken
(I suspect it was suitable for human consumption)
Now I ###'#.

Dear Greenpeace
Once I could afford to eat Tuna.
Now I ###'#.
I'm a mammal too.
You bunch of ####s.


10.02.2013

Who says computers don't understand irony?

18.11.2012

I'm not usually a fan of techno but this cover by Deprestival is really pumping.


15.11.2012

I have started an 'other' section for all the Revenge of the Lawn stuff that we never finished (or in some cases - by the sound of some of it - never started) that is lurking on my computer. Enjoy?


19.05.2011

Revenge of the Lawn's next gig will be at Accoustic Originals on Mon 23rd May 2011. This will only be a quicky (5 or 6 songs), to see the band in full technicolour dolby surroundsound you need to by a ticket to Wolveton Manor Food and Folk on Sun 29th May 2011.


17.05.2011

Revenge of the Lawn will be returning to The Headfunk Show on Vectis Radio this Friday (20th May 2011) from 5-7pm. If you've already missed it why not listen again here.


16.05.2011

More dodgy Dustbin Porn here.


15.05.2011

And here is some video of part of Cats like Plain Crisps' reunion gig (Jan 2010).


11.05.2011

And here is some video of part of Revenge of the Lawn's set at the Live Wired Final 2011.


10.05.2011

Here is another perky song from Depresstival.


09.05.2011

Apparently ROTL play gipsy-tinged folk. It's unlike The County Press to use the F-word. Read their review of the LiveWired gig here.


06.05.2011

Here is video of Depresstival performing Joanna Newsom's "The Book of Right On" at the same gig that Revenge of the Lawn played at back in July 2010. For those of you not familiar with Depresstival's ouvre, it's like Julia Nunes but more perky.


02.05.2011

Because we haven't released anything to download recently, here are sound files of ROTL's set at Live Wired 2011.


29.04.2011

Revenge of the Nawl failed to win at the Vile Wired final last night, they were frankly up against some stiff competition in the shape of Pleasureade - who also failed to win.

The winners were Vanzatti who, to be honest, I didn't even have in the running. I've just been on their Myspace page to check whether my initial estimation of them as purveyors of purile MOR pap was accurate and now realise that they are infact hard hitting and edgy and worthy winners.


28.04.2011

Hopefully most of this site should be working again now. If you come across any strange messages anywhere please let me know about them by complaining (don't forget to let me know which page you found it on). Can I take this oppertunity to thank my ISP for their speedy response to my enquiries (one day*).

*No! That doesn't mean they replied in one day I was being.... oh never mind.


26.04.2011

Listen to Revenge of the Lawn's latest interview on IW Radio here. Look for "Live Wired 2011"


25.04.2011

A message from The Antipodes:

It surely can't have escaped anyones notice that "Annika: The Complete Series" was released on 18-04-2011. Available for about 9 of your best pounds.
See: Mr Cheese when he was thin!
See: Mr Dread when he was young!
See: the IW in the 80s! (when they had proper ferries an'shit!)....



15.04.2011
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's xth gig.
Which will be at the Live Wired final on Thursday 28th of April at Medina Theatre.
Revenge of the Lawn at the Live Wired Finall

We promise we will turn up this time.

Soundfiles now available here and some video here.


22.03.2011

If you think this site is looking even more crap and acting more dysfunctional than usual, you are absolutely right. This is due to my ISP updating the version of PHP they run on their server (an email would have been nice). If you don't know what ISP and PHP mean, give thanks to the God of your choice and move on. I would say that it will be back to normal soon but it's a bit out of my hands, if my ISP can't fix it I'm going to have to edit and upload 373 files - so don't hold your breath.



21.03.2010

Revenge of the Lawn's first gig of the year (unless they get another one before it) will be at Wolverton Manor as part of the Food and Folk Fair on May 29th 2011. more details laterer


29.10.2010

The House of Cheese is proud to recommend "The Capybaras" (a Frank Chickens offshoot [though they probably won't like me saying that]) and their New EP "It's Capybara Time". It's mental.


28.07.2010

Photos of yet another Revenge of the Lawn gig that you missed. The Old Vicarage last Sunday (25th July).



22.07.2010

As part of the Open Studios Weekend Revenge of the Lawn's next gig will be at The Old Vicarage, 8 Mount Pleasant, Newport this Sunday, 25th July, between 4pm and 6pm.


09.07.2010

Revenge of the Lawn demonstrate the correct use of the Drumbone™ with uncharateristic subtlety.


07.07.2010

Photos of Revenge of the Lawn's set at Ryde Regatta 2010.


06.07.2010

Here are sound files of Revenge of the Lawn's session on Headfunk (18th June 2010).


03.07.2010

A few more photos of Revenge of the Lawn's gig at The IW Festival 2010.


19.06.2010
Last night (18.06.10) two thirds of Revenge of the Lawn shoe-horned thewmselves into Vectis Radio's tiny studio to play a couple of songs for Tom and Damien of Headfunk. The session is being repeated on Wednesday 23rd June at 7pm. Listen here.



17.06.2010
Here in its entirety, for those of you who missed it, is the set that Revenge of the Lawn performed at The IW Festival on Sunday Evening (13th June 2010).


14.06.2010

Photos of Revenge of the Lawn's gig at The IW Festival 2010.


07.06.2010
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's Twelfth gig.
Despite medical emergencies and ticket difficulties, Revenge of the Lawn will be playing The Isle of Wight Festival at the end of this week. They will be playing at the Kashmir Cafe at about 8PM on Friday and Sunday.

For the full line-up click here.
Revenge of the Lawn play the Isle of Wight Festival

A Very Comfortable Arm Chair Yesterday



30.05.2010
APPEAL
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SUPPORT THE ARTS BUT WERE UNSURE HOW TO GO ABOUT IT?

Here is your opportunity.....

Revenge of the Lawn, now a six piece band, have only been allocated five tickets for when they play at the Isle of Wight Festival on the 11th and 13th of June 2010.
So if you are..
  • An ordinary bod that has a spare ticket
  • A rich toff with more money than you know what to do with
  • Somebody that works for the festival and can influence such things
  • A shady underworld character that is going to be selling dodgy wristbands out side seaclose park
  • One of the mainline bands that are currently using spare tickets to snort coke
  • John Giddings
...this is your opportunity to help the poorest and most comprehensively ignored band on The Island.
A Very Nervous OB Quiet Yesterday

A Very Nervous OB Quiet Yesterday
Click here if you can help. Emails will not be published on this site (especially if you are a dodgy underworld character).



18.05.2010

Revenge of the Lawn attempt to master their latest acquisition.


12.05.2010

Here are a few photos of Revenge of the Lawn's eleveth gig at the Solent Inn on May 1st 2010. See the band wrestling with their monstorous new instrument The Drumbone™.


11.05.2010

Last year Revenge of the Lawn all agreed that they would split up if they didn't get to play The Festival and The Bestival this year. You will be disappointed to know that they will (apparenty) be playing both and so will probably stay together for another year at least. Perhaps next year they should set their sights on Glastonbury? The band should be getting a couple of sets at the Kashmir Cafe Tent courtesy of Mike Smith of Quay Arts who has been a highly vocal supporter of the band. They will also be playing The Bandstand at the Bestival on Sunday morning. More details closer to the time.


14.04.2010

New for your delictation, a meandering jam from Revenge of the Lawn.

10.04.2010
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's Eleventh gig.
The Solent Inn will be hosting a May Day celebration. Unable to find any pagan bands, they had to resort to those Dogmatists of Late Spring, Revenge of the Lawn.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Eleventh Gig


01.04.2010
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's tenth gig.
ROTL are returning to the metropolis that is Newport.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Tenth Gig

16.02.2010
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's ninth gig.
ROTL will be trying to wow North Ryde with their eclectic mix of ...
[Please add your own descriptive phrases here]

The Urine theme has now been fully exhausted in previous gigs and the band have now upgraded to a new theme, to be revealed at this gig.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.

Revenge of the Lawn's Ninth Gig

13.02.2010

Dave Cheesybits is still incapacitated, so I've hijacked taken over the site as substitute controller. Despite the desparately tearful pleas of Revenge of the Lawn, the County Press
made no allowances for the band and made them get back into the shark-infested swamp that is the Live Wired competition. If you are fed up with them, go and vote for them and they given us their word that they'll stop entering the competition ... honest. Only two days to go.
pp Self-Righteous Slow Biker


08.01.2010
Here is the aforementioned "a couple of hastily written Christmas songs", recently performed at Accoustic Originals recently which are now available for download.


27.12.2009
Sorry that there hasn't been any updates recently. This is because the House of Cheese™ is moving and it's taking a bit longer than I thought. You've probably already worked out that Revenge of the Lawn had to pull out of the Live Wired final because of Dread's comitments in the world of pantomime. They also performed a couple of hastily written Christmas songs at Accoustic Originals recently which I will make available for download as soon as I can.


03.12.2009
Here are some snippets of Revenge of thew Lawn
on the radio


02.12.2009
ROTL are a measly eighth in this years
Live Wired competition. You ar#n#t even trying. Click on the button above now - do not think!


25.11.2009
Oh yes... I forgot to say that Revenge of the Lawn ["They're Fab" {Ventnor Blog}] have entered this years
Live Wired competition. Please vote for them by clicking on the button above.


20.11.2009
Two long forgotten about
Cats Like Plain Crisps songs have emerged from the depths of my kitchen drawer. Anyone who can give me any information at all about them please complain.


19.11.2009
Revenge of the Lawn are to be featured on Glyn Taylor's Live and Local programme this Sunday between 7pm and 9pm. Tune to hear what Rob and Dave really think about Owen's banjo playing.


17.11.2009
Any body want to buy a
Waltons 12"?


13.11.2009
Pictures, newly emerged, of The Lawnies' fourth gig (with added Bungle Chords).


05.11.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's eighth gig.
ROTL will be trying to wow Newportonians with their eclectic mix of jungle rhythms and eastern promise (sorry about this, I can't think of anything nice to say so I'm copying this off Late Junction's web site). Those of you from elsewhere on the island will be admitted on production of a valid passport.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Eighth Gig


24.10.2009
I can't be the only person in the world that thinks Jan Garbarek is a bit shit.


22.10.2009
Tired of Revenge of the Lawn's dominance in the House of Cheese™ Chart? Now you can do something about it with the New & Improved
House of Cheese™ Chart with Revenge of the Lawn Filter!


20.10.2009
Infighting reaches new high for Lawnies.


17.10.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's seventh gig.
ROTL will be striving to excite you at The Rose Inn in Pier St., Ventnor on Sunday 25th October 2009 at 2.30PM as part of the V-Bay Festival.

Please note this is an afternoon gig. You can turn up in the evening if you want to but you won't see us!

I would , as usual, positively encourage you to print out this poster and put it in your window, but I suspect it's a bit too low res. for that. So instead I will encourage you to print it out and pin it to the back of your toilet door to use as emergency toilet paper as and when the need arises.
Revenge of the Lawn's Seventh Gig


12.10.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's sixth gig.
ROTL will be endevouring to entertain you at The Solent Inn in Monkton St, Ryde on Friday 16th October 2009 at 8PM. This will be the last chance you get to see the band for a while so don't miss it!

I was going to do a poster for the gig but since nobody ever prints them out, or indeed looks at them until after the gig, I decided to substitute this big black shape instead and save myself a bit of work. As usual you are positively encouraged to print it out and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Sixth Gig


09.10.2009
A new
audio/visual treat from those sticklers for punktuation Revenge of the Lawn.


03.10.2009
For those of you who were too lazy to walk up the hill here is Revenge of the Lawn and their hastily improvised
meat raffle song.


22.09.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's fifth gig.
ROTL will be returning to The High Park Tavern in Malborough Rd Ryde. The last gig they played there was chaotic and funfilled so don't miss it! Click here to see people being full of fun.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Fifth Gig


03.09.2009
Hands up everybody that has actually printed out that poster and stuck it in their window.


30.08.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's Fourth gig.
ROTL will be returning to the back room ofThe Simeon Arms in Simeon St Ryde on 5th September. With a support act from Bournemouth "The Bungle Chords" an ex[c]iting evening is guaranteed {or at least highly likely}. Hopefully you will be able to fit us in inbetween all the usual carnival fun.

As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Fourth Gig


29.08.2009
Pictures of Revenge of the Lawn's third gig at the High Park Tavern (21.08.2009).


28.08.2009
Revenge of the Lawn take their
first step towards becoming tax exiles.

09.08.2009
Luke Budz is now in the Bournemouth based band The Bungle Chords who should be supporting Revenge of the Lawn sometime in September. See their new video here.

06.08.2009
Martino's Great Uncle joins Revenge of the Lawn.

07.08.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's Third gig.
ROTL will be playing the High Park Tavern in Malborough Rd Ryde on 21st August. As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Third Gig


06.08.2009
The all new, not very exciting,
Video Chart.

04.08.2009
Nab Funk continue their bid for world domination while Smeggy and the Cheesybits finally drop out of the
top 30.

30.07.2009
Pictures of
WOMAD 2009

22.07.2009
A new
video from those spastics of necessity Revenge of the Lawn..

20.07.2009
Rare footage has emerged of The Four Marys recording their magnum opus Twadalini.

17.07.2009
New photos of Revenge of the Lawn playing to a packed crowd on Ryde Seafront.

13.07.2009
Revenge of the Lawn play to a packed crowd
on Ryde Seafront.

11.07.2009
The weather's looking a bit shit!

05.07.2009
Announcing the arrival of ....
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's second gig.
ROTL will be playing on Ryde Seafront (near the toilets apparently [useful to know]) on July 11th at about 6pm. As usual you are positively encouraged to print out this poster and put it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's Second Gig


28.06.2009
More pictures of Revenge of the Lawn's gig at the Simeon Arms 29.05.09..

15.06.2009
Another Jam.

11.06.2009
So finally here it is. The movement you've all been waiting for.
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's first album.
In a shock move (two weeks ago) Revenge of the Lawn release "The Eponymous First Album" (no I don't know what the f**k it means either but I pretend I do so that I don't look like too much of a c**t).
Now available to puchase here.
Some people may say this is where it belongs, but they are just jealous - it's really very good - I'd stake my reputation on it (or something valuable)


02.06.2009
For those of you who missed Revenge of the Lawn at the Simeon on Friday
here is a clip of them performing their top selling single I F**king Hate the W**t W***t

30.05.2009
Some early
photos of Revenge of the Lawn's first gig at the Simeon last night which was, by all accounts "the dogs nadgers".

24.05.2009
In a shock move (two weeks ago)
OB Quiet joins Revenge of the Lawn.

18.05.2009
So finally here it is. The moment you've all been waiting for.
REVENGE OF THE LAWN's first gig.
The band promise driving rhythms, contentious lyrics and soaring melodies sprinkled with abusive language, bum notes and plenty of chaos.
The band are taking to the stage by 8.30 p.m. So if you don't want to miss anything you'd better get there by then.

N.B. You are positively encouraged to print out a copy of this poster and stick it in your window.
Revenge of the Lawn's First Gig


16.05.2009
Miracle of miracles - it looks like Revenge of the Lawn are finally going to be playing a gig (no seriously). And it should be this month. They have, however, announced that they will not be performing their
hit songs "Bill O'Neil's Sandwich" or "Bum Banditeers" so apologies go out to the Portsmouth and Eastbourne contingent.

11.05.2009
An old mix of
Funny Old World has just appeared.

11.05.2009
Finally the vocal version of
Tidal Wave Dave is unleashed on the world. Revenge of the Lawn apologise for the delay, they say it was due to a signal failure at Smallbrooke Junction.

10.05.2009
Revenge of the Lawn are trying to get get a gig but a continually frustrated by twats that want to know if they (ROTL) can play Micheal Jackson covers. If you know anywhere they can play let them know through the
complaining page. Or if you are having a party and you want them to come along and play also make contact through the complaining page. The band says: "We would consider anything really so long as it feels right, we just want to get a gig. Any one out there that would like a demo before they let us play can fuck off though".

25.04.2009
Finally a
new song from those idolators of indolence Revenge of the Lawn

09.04.2009
Nab Funk claw their way back into the charts.


05.04.2009
Those home-helps of quantum mechanics Revenge of the Lawn
plumb new depths with their cover.


04.04.2009
Watch more Be-Bop Dustbins performing at the Garlic Festival 1985


03.04.2009
Watch The Be-Bop Dustbins performing at the Garlic Festival 1985


01.04.2009
Watch a slightly crappy version of Revenge of the Lawn's video for At the End of Old Ryde Pier.
We had no end of trouble trying to compress it because of all the flashing. But you can just about see it.....
Oh by the way - Warning: Contains Flashing Images


30.03.2009
Mrs Jones on speed.


29.03.2009
I think I may have been lulled into a false sense of obscurity.


15.03.2009
Quality rushes in from left field in the form of 12 new tracks from O B Quiet


07.03.2009
Now available for download - The Miami Vice Mix of The Waltons' Rainy Rizla Morning.


03.03.2009
Evidence that Revenge of the Lawn's recording techniques are as [a]stringent as ever.


20.02.2009
Despite bribing officials at The County Press Revenge of the Lawn still only managed to come third in the Live Wired competition.

05.02.2009
Some new buttons. They're shiny!

31.01.2009

It is time, once again, for Revenge of the Lawn to fail to get into the live final of a competition the prize of which is to play at the Festival/Bestival (delete where applicable). You have a unique opportunity to share in this slight sense of disappointment and rejection by voting for them here.

This year ROTL have entered their musical consideration of the plight of those two giants of philosophical argument Noddy and Jean Paul Satre. Band leader and crumhorn maestro "Slick" Knobturner-Littlehampton said of the competition, "After failing to get into the live final for two years we decided to cheat and enter 14 songs under different names, reasoning that if all the songs that were put to the public vote were ours we would be sure of a place. When this didn't work we decided that the only way we would ever get our hands on those free tickets was to have friends - we are still working on this project." Of the song he said, "We chose this song because of the strong and thoughtful lyrical content, the infectious rhythms and the fact that it is the only one we had left."

Remember, most of you will have dynamic IP addresses and so be able to vote every 24 hrs or so. 5% of every vote you cast will be donated to Comic Relief so by voting for Revenge of the Lawn you are helping to save small children from around the world - voting for anybody else will of course give tiny babies AIDS.


30.01.2009
*NEW*
The moment you've all been waiting for! Sir Lord Easy-Listening's
TB All-Stars. Pictures to look at with your eyes and mp3s for you to download and look at with your ears.


13.01.2009
*EXCITING NEWS*
Renege of the Lawn continue to not release any new songs.


...What's Old ...